Beware of Happiness Traps

Expecting too much from others. • Not accepting yourself as you are; demanding too much of yourself. • Not being content with anything. • Feeling you are not contributing. • Feeling excluded. • Playing politics and being manipulative. • Feeling you cannot prevent another’s suffering. • Constantly craving for food. • In a rush all the time. • Excessively or often angry. • Full of lethargy and inactivity. • Having too much tiredness. • Ignoring others.

Escape into happiness

There is a great book titled the ‘Lonely Crowd’, by David Riesman, highlighting the fact that one can be lonely with crowds of people around you. Loneliness is what you feel when you think no one cares about you. If you are rich and famous, can you escape loneliness? Celebrity suicides like Robin Williams, that leap out of the front page in every newspaper, prove that, it is not so. Imagine smoking 15 cigarettes every day. Loneliness has the same impact on your health. The whole thing seems a vicious circle. If you are lonely you get sicker, if you are sick you feel even lonelier. Loneliness makes you vulnerable to a whole lot of health issues: heart disease, cancer, depression and dementia. The only antidote is of course close family ties and loving friends. People, who care for you, listen to you and give you hugs when you need them. The wellness and happiness chemicals can keep loneliness at bay. The loneliness epidemic helps us to focus on the isolation felt, especially by elders. True happiness is helping others, it is said. It is also the antidote to loneliness as it releases serotonin in the blood. Billionaires give away their wealth to experience this spirit of joy that banishes loneliness. A networked life builds walls against loneliness. Oxytocin is released by hugs especially the undeserved ones. It is enhanced by laughter, play and close interactions. Of course, endorphins released during exercising particularly in groups, create an immediate if temporary high. Who can forget dopamine, that is released as we achieve your dreams and goals. When one is awash in all 4 chemicals, one can swim in a sea of happiness and well being. So many things can help especially when shared: food, music, exercise, conversation and singing, are great ways to escape loneliness. “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness”, writes Maya Angelou. All we want is to reach out and touch another human being not just with hands but with our heart. So reach out and build, connect. The more you enjoy high touch in this high tech world, the greater your chance of long term happiness!

Celebrating Summer

Summer is waiting, crouching in the shadows to leap upon us with an orange roar of colour, heat and sweat. In the drama of the four seasons, summer is the brightest. The Kashmir valley celebrates the Tulip festival in April at Siraj Bagh, clasped in embrace of the scenic Zabrawan range, in Srinagar. Nearly 60 varieties of beautiful Tulips worship the sun in over 5 hectares of land. Imagine a living carpet caressed by the cool summer breeze, woven by the great Architect of the Universe Himself! It is a changing kaleidoscope of red, yellow, variegated pink, white, orange, light blue and magenta. The Kashmiris celebrate this event by displaying their handicrafts and cultural programs. Authentic Kashmiri cuisine is part of the festival. After last week’s events, I wonder whether blood is good for the Tulips to grow? Vibrant life and the tragic death of beautiful young people lie so closely woven together, here. Summer too is like that, let us decide to enjoy the joy and vibrancy of the season and push the discomfort to the back of our minds. Welcome and celebrate the summer. Plant the colourful, short lived summer flowers. Float them in water, in artistic mud, wide mouthed, pots. Celebrate summer in the evening breezes in flower strewn gardens and lazy beaches. Celebrate with raw mango juice and lime sherbet. This is the season for a luxury bath – set apart time for your tryst with cool water sprays in the pool and in the bath. Emperor Akbar had to get his ice from the Himalayan glaciers on elephant back. We just need to keep the fridge well stocked. Wear a cool attitude and retreat to cool air conditioned spaces at noon, instead of testing your tolerance with outdoor tasks. Create a water spot for people who walk past your house. Fill the bird baths and set out water for the squirrels. Happy summer holidays!

Celebrating Summer

Summer is waiting, crouching in the shadows to leap upon us with an orange roar of colour, heat and sweat. In the drama of the four seasons, summer is the brightest. The Kashmir valley celebrates the Tulip festival in April at Siraj Bagh, clasped in embrace of the scenic Zabrawan range, in Srinagar. Nearly 60 varieties of beautiful Tulips worship the sun in over 5 hectares of land. Imagine a living carpet caressed by the cool summer breeze, woven by the great Architect of the Universe Himself! It is a changing kaleidoscope of red, yellow, variegated pink, white, orange, light blue and magenta. The Kashmiris celebrate this event by displaying their handicrafts and cultural programs. Authentic Kashmiri cuisine is part of the festival. After last week’s events, I wonder whether blood is good for the Tulips to grow? Vibrant life and the tragic death of beautiful young people lie so closely woven together, here. Summer too is like that, let us decide to enjoy the joy and vibrancy of the season and push the discomfort to the back of our minds. Welcome and celebrate the summer. Plant the colourful, short lived summer flowers. Float them in water, in artistic mud, wide mouthed, pots. Celebrate summer in the evening breezes in flower strewn gardens and lazy beaches. Celebrate with raw mango juice and lime sherbet. This is the season for a luxury bath – set apart time for your tryst with cool water sprays in the pool and in the bath. Emperor Akbar had to get his ice from the Himalayan glaciers on elephant back. We just need to keep the fridge well stocked. Wear a cool attitude and retreat to cool air conditioned spaces at noon, instead of testing your tolerance with outdoor tasks. Create a water spot for people who walk past your house. Fill the bird baths and set out water for the squirrels. Happy summer holidays!

Happiness is a choice

Contentment with whatever you have is the greatest path to happiness. Comparison with those better than us makes us discontented. Comparison with those who are worse off makes us proud and arrogant. Shanti or a peaceful, calm mind, suffused with affection and compassion, makes our field a happy one while spreading like a fragrance to embrace all those around us. Everyone has only two choices—life-enhancing and life destroying. An event is not as critical as is your reaction or perception of it. It continues its life inside you, a nuclear landmine of memories that wreak far more destruction than the actual event. The more mindspace you allocate to unhappy memories, the more time you spend in the past while being a spectator in the living present, the more you miss the joy the present moment offers. At any given time, the past should not inhabit. The ability to planning our future, should be devoted to a rational planning exercise, not aimless daydreaming that nibbles at your day like a rat in a godown of rice. All of us need a tender, loving caretaker within who nurtures us, not an internal drill master who victimises us in an insulting and disparaging tone, sucking out all our energy, enthusiasm and happiness.

Create a Green and organic Environment

You can create a sustainable environment around you. This happens when you treat the Earth like a friend. Replace whatever you take from her with love. We need to stop doing many things to achieve a sustainable, clean environment. No Plastic bags, no empty shampoo sachets. Carry a cloth bag. Each of us has a personal responsibility to fulfill. Each of us has a personal duty to do something to spread the message. Use all communications for life changing, life affirming activities, Stop complaining. Do…do Something. The Carbon footprint is measured by the CO2 or other greenhouse gases created by an object, person or action. Each of us needs to aim at a lower carbon footprint. MCAfee estimates that 78 percent of all incoming e-mails are spam. 62 trillion spam messages are sent every year! The turning point is here. If we do not read the warnings, revolution is at our door. Let us not be caught unawares. We can still save planet Earth ourselves by being proactive.

Relaxation Technique for your life

Music has the power to purify the emotional field like nothing else. Pranayama helps you sing without losing your breath. The mindspace becomes sweetly harmonious and no harsh words can be spoken there. Here is a quote from Rabinranath Tagore’s Geetanjali: “I touch with the edge of the far-reaching wings of my song, thy feet which I could never aspire to reach”. Every day we should choose the sounds that allowed into our field. Perhaps we could set a song for the day in our mind. Those who met us would see the sparkle of that song in my eyes and feel the rhythm of its harmony in our, limbs. Why should we allow foul language into our mind? ‘Shabdh or sound is Vani Saraswathi, the Goddess of Learning. Words are sacred to her. Choose to say beautiful words, to hear lovely words. Banish harsh, angry and foul language from the inner spaces of your heart. A sure happiness killer is stress, hence beware of it.

MUSIC - POWER TO PURIFY

Music has the power to purify the emotional field like nothing else. Pranayama helps you sing without losing your breath. The mindspace becomes sweetly harmonious and no harsh words can be spoken there. Here is a quote from Rabinranath Tagore’s Geetanjali: “I touch with the edge of the far-reaching wings of my song, thy feet which I could never aspire to reach”. Every day we should choose the sounds that allowed into our field. Perhaps we could set a song for the day in our mind. Those who met us would see the sparkle of that song in my eyes and feel the rhythm of its harmony in our, limbs. Why should we allow foul language into our mind? ‘Shabdh or sound is Vani Saraswathi, the Goddess of Learning. Words are sacred to her. Choose to say beautiful words, to hear lovely words. Banish harsh, angry and foul language from the inner spaces of your heart. A sure happiness killer is stress, hence beware of it.