Proactive Change

The results of transformative change are all around us this summer. Sunflower plants busting out from seeds where they have slept tightly curled, butterflies leaving behind their worn out cocoons, flowers dressing up the bare limbs of trees. This time as the financial year begins it is the time for the 3Rs rest, relaxation and rejuvenation of proactive change.

Change is the only certainty in an uncertain world. This year you will change merely because everything around you will change. What you can decide is whether you will lead the change or become a victim of it.

Think about proactively changing things in the following areas of your life.

1.       Personal

2.       Family

3.       Professional

4.       Social

Personal: Create goals that will improve your skills and build on your strengths. Tap into the passion that you have kept tightly leashed because you had no time. Did you always want to learn to play the guitar? Sign up now. Was Bollywood dancing what lights your fire? Do it. Sign up for a distance learning programme.

Family: Ask your family members to suggest change each of them would like. Try to see if it can be done. Don’t be a casualty of the corporate rat race.

Professional: Have a chat with your team mates. Volunteer for a tough blue sky job. Create a daily ‘huddle’ in your workplace so that everyone can meet and talk for a few minutes every morning. Make sure everyone participates. Work on making it a fun place.

Social: Create a face book page for your family and friends. Keep in touch, share pictures, keep them informed and interested and involved in an interesting activity: a get-together for all your friends, an annual family reunion, a pot luck meet and eat for all your neighbours.

Things will change anyway. Make sure they change in the way you want. And remember a butterfly is not an improved caterpillar. Just as a sunflower is not an improved seed.

Physical Wellness

Health is the foundation for a feeling of well being and joy. It is very difficult to be full of enthusiasm if you are not in a state of positive health. The absence of disease is no indication of this state of perfect health. It is only a hygiene factor for improving your Happiness Quotient.

Just as you would not tolerate a minor malfunctioning in your car, so too, you and your doctor should be vigilant for the slightest disturbance in your state of health. Minor problems, aches and pains should be dealt with immediately, rather than be endured with gritted teeth.

Listen to your body. If you are tried, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug.  If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it.

The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created. 

Create a positive field

Ø  A mental process which draws a magic circle of love around all those who are participating.

Ø  A prayer or mantra said together.

Ø  A common exercise, a company song, common goals.

Ø  A handshake, a friendly look, an encouraging word.

Ø  Thinking, believing and acting in a positive manner.

Ø  Laughter and shared jokes.

Elevate everyday experiences to the level of sacredness!

When work is done with love, it fills the body and mind with bliss and transforms any place into a sacred space.  As Khalil Gibran writes in The Prophet, “What is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth from the strings of your heart, as though your Beloved were to wear it.” What is required to fill your blood with the chemicals of bliss is an attitude transplant.  Soar on your positive attitude.

Decide to approach all events, all people, and all things with affection, reverence and ‘Sraddha.’ This reverence is due to all, because of the divine spark that dwells in everyone whether he is a legend or a failure.  Sometimes it is obvious. It is the silent flame of consciousness that reaches out to you from a flowering creeper or a healthy pet.  Sometimes this life force has lost its vitality and is dimmed by dirt, lethargy and lack of care. Clean the glass of your Life’s lamp.  Make the light shine through.

It is essential to look into our emotional, mental and psychological environment, as our thoughts and emotions directly contribute to our wellbeing or otherwise. Meditation can clean up the field and contribute enormously to an individual’s psychological and physiological wellbeing.

Celebrate the Positives

Celebrate the positive in all interactions. Rest assured that God did not create you for the sole purpose of correcting others or making them unhappy. When we say namaste, we say ‘I bow to the Divine in you’. ‘Vasudeva Kutumbakam’ say, our holy book – the whole world is your family. Imagine the rich network of love you could create, where your children can be nurtured if you believed and practiced this.

The most inexpensive ticket to happiness is helping others and making others happy. So spread happiness like Amul butter on bread. It will stick to your fingers. Create a happiness committee in your street, which meets every month to create a happy street. Every month as you decide to install comfort touch, celebrate Diwali or have a painting competition for kids, neighbours become friends.

Action Plan to protect your legacy

·         Commit your dream to paper. Be clear about your legacy – give details.

·         Build ownership in those empowered to take it forward. Listen to divergent opinions and let go.

·         Start detaching yourself and don’t give too much advice and cramp the style and enthusiasm of those on the job.

·         Remember life is short.

Let not your legacy become ashes and dust when you die. You have responsibility to leave the world a better place. Start the task now!

Steps to increase everyday happiness

·         Do the crossword as you age

·         Take up a course of study that will improve your work skills: may be computer literacy

·         Eat a piece of dark chocolate 4 times a week.

·         Have at least four interesting, intimate conversations with family and friends every day.

·         Spend at least two hours outdoors.

·         Participate in at least one group activity.

·         Have a good belly laugh.

·         Forgive and forget and what you cannot forgive, forget.

·         Find a meaningful job to do, even if unpaid.

·         Live in the present and enjoy it.

World Kindness Day

The world kindness movement began incorporating NGO’s on November 13^th 1988. The actions on this day make everyone feel that kindness is cool. Young, trendy people, caring adults, celebrities participate to make kindness so viral.

Corporates who participate in my year long Innovation Initiatives have a Make Things Better (MTB) Board in the front office. Anyone can post a note which says ‘You made things better by ………………, about a team member’. The person who gets the maximum MTB notes, is recognized, as also the person who posts the most MTBs.

Kindness, generosity and co-operation can spread faster than violence or hatred. A study conducted by San Diego and Harvard Universities provide laboratory evidence that co-operative behavior is contagious.  When the people benefit from kindness, they “pay it forward” by helping others who were not originally involved, and this creates a cascade of collaboration that influences dozens more in a social network.

Research and Shakespeare have both shown that kindness benefits both giver and the receiver, filling the blood stream with neurotransmitters of relaxation and contentment. Serotonin and endorphins elevate the mood. Doctors have to do less when people are kind and content. Friedrich Nietzsche wrote about the ‘most curative herbs and agents’ of gentleness and kindness is ensuring health and well being.

So on World Kindness Day, start a daily, lifelong habit of kindness.  Let’s start to:

1.       Hug all the loved ones in your life who rarely get a hug – your parents and grandparents.

2.       Write love letters to them recording how you feel, before it is too late!

3.       In Singapore, they gave away 45,000 yellow flowers last year.

4.       Canada had a Kindness Concert.

5.       Put out grains and water for birds to feed.

6.       Adopt a elder who has no visitors and cheer up that elder by visiting him once a week or fortnightly or monthly – whichever is feasible.

As the Dalai Lama said, “My religion is simple. My religion is kindness.” Send this to all your friends. Let’s go viral with this.

Children’s Day

Children’s day is celebrated in India on November 14^th, Jawaharlal Nehru’s birthday. It is a day to celebrate the child. Children are the family’s greatest wealth and asset. Without Santhana Lakshmi (the goddess who bestows happiness in children) there is no joy in the family. The laughter, the mischief and newness children bring into the world is irreplaceable. As the Japanese say, ‘Children bring the ‘Oh!’ into your life’. It is also a day to pledge support for children suffering from abuse, violence, discrimination and death –all avoidable.

One child dies every 90 seconds in India - this means 1.7 million children every year. Many children are motherless because women in India have only a 50/50 chance of skilled help during childbirth. A woman dies in childbirth every 10 minutes in our country. The Taj Mahal, the greatest monument to love, was built for Mumtaz Mahal by Shahjahan in Agra. She died at child birth, giving birth to her 14^th child. The ‘State of World’s Mothers’ places India 76th on a list which shows the best places to be a mother. We lose more women every week because of this cause, than they lose in Europe, in a whole year. This is the same as having 400 Jumbo Boeing 747 planes crash annually. What is shocking is that one third of child death and 1/5^th of the maternal death are caused by lack of nutrition. 153 million children between the ages of 5 and 14 are bonded into child labour.

So what can you do to celebrate children’s day:

1.       Write a beautiful letter to each of your children about how much you value them in your family

2.       Send a gift to their teachers with a letter thanking them for giving them the gift of knowledge

3.       Plan a special family outgoing, which they find interesting and exciting.

4.       Children are great imitators. Be a person worth imitating.

As Magic Johnson said, “All that kids need, is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them”. On this day give some poor child some of these gifts.

Tips to Balance your Work and life

1. Take short relaxation breaks, at least thrice a day.

2. Eat fresh, energy-giving foods.

3. Take a walk outdoors during lunch break.

4. Stay away from politics and back-biting.

5. Involve your spouse and children in your work. Bring them to the office during lunch break or on a Saturday.

6. Spend time reading and improving your mind.

7. Get involved in activities that will benefit others.

8. Develop an absorbing hobby or skill—driving, dancing, gardening, carpentry, painting, amateur radio, etc.

9. Keep in touch with your close friends and extended family, use the power of the internet.

10. Plan to cut off from work on weekends.

11. Meditate. Take care of yourself.

12. Look at your life-goals and evaluate your job to see if it will help you achieve them.

13. Learn to say ‘No’.

14. Remember that people are more important than getting ahead.

15. If you have a toxic workplace, look for another job.

16. Know that you are more important than the car you drive, house you inhabit, your bank balance or the promise of a foreign holiday.

Towards Personal Happiness

The world is in your drawing room, it is clamouring to change your life with more and more sophisticated toys. As a popular saying goes, ‘What separates the men from the boys is just the price of their toys.’ Simplify and go home to what you really need.

The world is like a buffet counter at a five-star hotel. Let’s not grab everything on our plates. Let us be choosy, so that we may avoid spiritual indigestion and physical exhaustion.   

Shangri La

There is a place in the distant mountains which is always calm and peaceful, where the earth is laden with luscious fruit and wholesome grain, where people are vibrant, healthy and happy. Here the whole community is a family and smiles bind the hearts of all. You too can live in Shangri-La . . .

Seven Radiant of Happiness

      The First Radiant Action For Physical Wellness

       The Second Radiant Action For Emotional Wellness

       The Third Radiant Action For Personal Wellness

       The Fourth Radiant Action For Family Bonding

      The Fifth Radiant Action For Nurturing The Workplace

       The Sixth Radiant Action of Social Bonding

       The Seventh Radiant Action For Dharmic Living

Peace Through Happiness

Happiness is a state of mind. Think happy thoughts, be happy. Think unhappy thoughts, be unhappy. Peace of mind comes with the recognition that happiness is totally and unequivocally in your control.

The Four Pillars of Happy Communities

·         Economic Growth and Development

·         Preserving and promoting cultural heritage

·         Encouraging sustainable use of environment.

·         Establishing good governance.

Physical Wellness

Health is the foundation for a feeling of well being and joy. It is very difficult to be full of enthusiasm if you are not in a state of positive health. The absence of disease is no indication of this state of perfect health. It is only a hygiene factor for improving your Happiness Quotient.

Just as you would not tolerate a minor malfunctioning in your car, so too, you and your doctor should be vigilant for the slightest disturbance in your state of health. Minor problems, aches and pains should be dealt with immediately, rather than be endured with gritted teeth.

Listen to your body. If you are tried, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug.  If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it.

The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created. 

Create a positive field

Ø  A mental process which draws a magic circle of love around all those who are participating.

Ø  A prayer or mantra said together.

Ø  A common exercise, a company song, common goals.

Ø  A handshake, a friendly look, an encouraging word.

Ø  Thinking, believing and acting in a positive manner.

Ø  Laughter and shared jokes.

Happy Diwali

Principles of Healthy Living

Start the day with a glass of warm water and a dash of lime.

·         Eat only freshly-cooked meals, not refrigerated leftovers.

·         Include one green vegetable and one yellow vegetable in every meal.

·         Go on a ‘juice fast’ for a day. Start with vegetable juice, and sipfruit juice for lunch and dinner.

·         Kick the old coffee-drinking habit. Have a glass of fresh fruit juice instead.

·         Make every meal an enjoyable experience. Set dishes out attractively and chew slowly to appreciate the full flavour of the foods you eat.

·         Make every meal an enjoyable experience. Set dishes out attractively and chew slowly to appreciate the full flavour of the foods you eat.

Principles of Emotional Well-being

 •Listen to yourself.

• Live in the present moment. Now. Every minute.

• Discipline yourself—it will give you true freedom.

• Do not pretend to be in total control.

• Allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes.

• Ask for help. Network.

• Reinvent and renew yourself periodically.

• Explore the concept of acceptance of self.

• Love yourself. Accept yourself, your body and mind, as you are.

• In your quest for self-improvement, affirm and love yourself as you are today, here and now.

• Accept your life, good and bad as it is now, as a divine gift.

• Love another. A gift of yourself is the greatest gift you can give.

• Keep the child in you alive. Cuddle, nurture and liberate the baby in you.

Beware of Happiness Traps

•Expecting too much from others.

• Not accepting yourself as you are; demanding too much of yourself.

• Not being content with anything.

• Feeling you are not contributing.

• Feeling excluded.

• Playing politics and being manipulative.

• Feeling you cannot prevent another’s suffering.

• Constantly craving for food.

• In a rush all the time.

• Excessively or often angry.

• Full of lethargy and inactivity.

• Having too much tiredness.

• Ignoring others.

Principles of Happy Life

1. Exercise every day.

2. Make friends with a doctor, preferably a young doctor.

3. Love myself (this is a tough one).

4. Give more affirmations, go slow on discounts.

5. Keep in touch with friends.

6. Play more.

7. Cultivate flow activities.

8. Spend more fun time with family.

9. Spend uncluttered time and do interesting things with the kids.

10. Do something new every day.

11. Be a participant in life, not a spectator.

Be Nature’s Friend

Learning about the magic of growth and the splendor of Life will become as natural as breathing for your children.  Each of us has a personal responsibility to Mother Earth. Let us use telephones and internet for life changing and life affirming activities. Because in the last analysis, all that we think or say or do fall under one of these two categories: Life affirming or Life destroying. 

Grow some of your own food, even if it is just a pot of coriander leaves or tulsi to welcome Laxmi into your house or cure a sore throat. Plant trees that will be cared for. Start using a reusable cloth bag to shop . Turn off the water while you shave and you can save more than 100 gallons of water a week. Turn off the water while you brush your teeth and save 4 gallons a minute. That’s 200 gallons a week for a family of four.

Think about it: why can’t each of us take responsibility of keeping our own street clean and beautiful. Just like we keep the toilets inside our house clean, we can make sure that our street is green and beautiful. Join hands with neighbours and go green today. In your journey through life,

“Take nothing but pictures

Kill nothing but time

Leave nothing but footprints”

Know Yourself

 “It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or demons, heaven or hell,” said Buddha. This is the season to clean up our lives, burn out all desires and conquer our evil habits. Control your tongue, for “The tongue like a sharp knife. It kills without drawing blood…. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Overcome the snakes of jealousy and the grasping fingers of greed. Wipe out lust. Start on a clean white canvas of purity. Paint the positive navarasas of love, compassion, wonder, laughter, courage and peace into your life.

As Buddha said the way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. Do not look back or lose yourself in the daydreams of the future. Concentrate your mind and be a full participant in the present moment. Enjoy each moment!

Love yourself

Now turn inward and start a personal affirmation account for yourself.  Give yourself a big hug for being the most hard working, kind and special person in your life. Invest in a note book which will document your love affair with yourself.

v  Write a love letter to yourself. Recognize your unique beauty, your capacity to do your best and all the gifts that make you such a fabulous person. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into place,” said Lucille Ball.

v  Start a gratefulness dairy where you record all the things you are grateful for. Thank God for His blessings.

v  ‘I can,’ is a hundred times more important that IQ. Celebrate your smallest successes. Stop that nagging, critical voice in your head that keeps picking on you. Speak to yourself kindly and lovingly.

v  Stop worrying. The way to be happy is to stop worrying about things which cannot be changed.

v  Plug into the Source of all power, through prayer and meditation and acknowledge that you are a child of God, made in his own image.

v  Explore, dream, discover: at the end of your life do not regret all the dreams you have failed to pursue. 

Network of Affection

Research shows that growing up with more siblings provides you with a chance to have a happier marriage. This may be because of the chance to learn the joy of sharing, caring, comforting others in trouble, adjusting with limited resources and an opportunity for fun, games and common amusements.

With the growing trend towards one child families, it is good idea to develop a method of providing a similar experience with children in a building, neighbourhood or circle of friends. The joint family provides a great opportunity for kids to build close relationships with other children and adults. Can we take steps to replace the lost joint family with intimate circles of neighbours and friends?

Just today, I was speaking to a friend a busy lawyer about getting together with his neighbours to deal with wet and dry garbage. He said “I don’t even know the 6 other families who live in my building.” A time has come in our own cities and towns, when a person can die next door and no one knows about it. Last week a newspaper article told  of a woman in a posh Bangalore suburb whose body was discovered 5 months after she died. Neighbours complained of a foul smell and authorities broke down the door to find her.

Action Plan to win tough times

·         Use this time to do more. Remember you will get good at something you keep doing. Most people better than you, have just spent more time doing, instead of complaining, dreaming or wishing. Do more.

·         Give yourself bigger and better goals whatever happens, keep a positive attitude. You probably talk more to yourself than anyone else on earth. Make sure your self talk is positive and nurturing

·         Encourage yourself, keep doing a little bit every day to realize your dreams. Every single day – like your exercises.  One day you will reach the top of the mountain.

·         Build your networks. Stretch out a helping hand to those who need it. Nothing like bad times to bring families and teams together.

·         Be encouraging and supportive to other people’s efforts. No discouraging word should pass your lips. Focus on your family.

·         Thinking during tough times forces us to think outside the box or even eliminate the box.

·         Create an environment that is replete with the positive emotions of love, courage, compassion, laughter, wonder and peace. This is the positive field that will nurture creativity and innovation.

·         Adapt and evolve. Remember nothing lasts. Especially not tough times!

Tough Times are the Best Times

We live in daunting times to those involved in the blood bath of the financial markets. This must be an impossible time. What are the mantras that can help us keep our equanimity in tough times?

I believe that tough times are the best times. The lack of resources forces us to innovate and come up with solutions that are optimally suited to our times. Tough times are good for the planet – there is less waste and more of the 3Rs –reduce, repair and recycle. These are times when you think about refusing things you don’t really need. And realize how much excess baggage you have been carrying. This is a time to reduce clutter of all kinds in your life and bring it to a Zen like perfection.

‘Tough times don’t last, but tough people do,’ said a wag. So this is time for tough love. Get everyone to adapt by processing on improving their skills, instead of complaining. Here are some actions for the tough times.

Natural Water Managers

The Saguaro Cactus in Arizona is a leafless plant which is one of the best water managers in the world. Only 10 meters tall, its roots spread far and wide in a radius of 20 meters which absorb and store water from the smallest shower. Weighing 10 tones, it stores 8 tones of water. The plant has sharp prickles to protect its treasure of water. The mesquites of Texas which grow along dry river beds have wide spreading roots, hungry for water. Sometimes the roots grow to 80 meters. The plant hardly grows above the ground till it strikes water.

It is fascinating how plants provide clues about the presence of water in the vicinity. A famous Indian astronomer, astrologer and mathematician, Varahamihira in the 54^th chapter of Brihat Samhita, writes about finding water sources. He has written about various types of plants and termite mounds that show where water can be found.  The Jamun tree with its delicious purple fruit, indicates water at 16ft depth, 5ft north of the tree. Fig trees have water sources close by. A herb called Vallarai which is said to enhance memory, also indicates the presence of water. Termite mounds which need moist soil also indicate the presence of water. Nature provides a hundred clues to sensitive water detectives. For instance, if a coconut or Palmyra palm tree has its trunk branched in two, water will be found at 24 ft west of the tree.

In a desert, if you see hills, you are likely to find water at the base. Damp sand in a dry riverbed indicates water. Follow the foot prints of animals and game trails. Follow then downhill to find water. Reed grass and palms spell the presence of moisture. Be careful while drinking water from a cactus especially with a milky sap. Throwing up will only increase dehydration. Dew could save you. Collect it before sun rise, when it will swiftly evaporate. Thirsty Bedouins dig up cool stones just before sunrise. When dew settles on them, they lick it up.

The way animals deal with water, is another fascinating subject. Beavers are the best builders of dams for their own convenience.  With sharp teeth and flat tails, they use mud and sticks to flood an area, where they can navigate below or near the surface. This dam creates an eco system where they can remain hidden from predators. The flooded areas also provide access to food during the lean winter months.

All of nature has such acute intelligence about water. Mankind’s sensitivity increases when water is scarce, as we find in deserts. It reduces drastically as water becomes plentiful. In the desert, water in life itself and it is treated as sacred. In Cherrapunji which has the highest rainfall in the world, there is water shortage. In the Rajasthan Thar desert area, receiving scanty rain for just 3-4 months, there is enough water for cultivation in many areas as also for the needs of households.

The surprising conclusion is that water security or Jal Swaraj (water independence) may not be nature’s gift. It is a combination of a tradition of water conservation, culture and religion. In Rajasthan, water is worshipped as sacred. This creates a pyramidal structure, with each household storing rain water and villages nurturing ponds, tanks and retention pools and huge tanks like the one in Gharsiscar.  Khadeems are oases in the desert, stored through the retention of water, in the beds of seasonal rivers, which provide enough for both the kharif and Rabi crops.

So let us treat water like Lakshmi, the Goddess of wealth and well being. Even when water flows like a waterfall in our plush glamour rooms at home, let us remember how hard people, animals and plants work for a drop of water.

Action Plan to create a healing home

*           Your home reflects how you are, and how well you are taking care of yourself.

•             Learn how to make mess and clutter disappear for good

•             Steadily raise the level of beauty in your home

•             Fill your home with a growing sense of ease and happiness.  Be nicer to yourself, your family and every day

•             Get what you want at home, more easily than you ever dared to hope!

•             Engage fully in life with love and kindness and you cannot go wrong.

•             Simple kindness to oneself and all that lives, is the most powerful transformational force of all.

•             Practice being kind to yourself. And go put fresh sheets on your bed.

A Healthy and Happy Home

A healthy home should be a healing space, a nurturing positive mind field. It can be a place where all wounds are healed. Alvin Toffler wrote ‘The family is the giant shock absorber of the family to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world!’ If your home is not a sanctuary but a battle-field do something about it. Get help, maybe professional help. Reserve time for laughter and happiness—schedule time for it, like you do for your work.

Have a rule to avoid difficult topics during meal times or bed time. Music, if is soothing, can be a powerful force for peace. The very walls absorb the vibrations of the music. Mantras can do the same for your home. I sometimes feel that if music can be infused into the mindspace so that it plays quietly in your mind, as the background to your day, it can have a really soothing affect. Avoid violent, depressing programmes. Just as you would not allow a terrorist into your home, do not allow such movies into the sacred space of your home. You surely are the protector of the field that exists in your home. Make your home fragrant with incense. Clean and sparkling and beautiful. Respectful of the sacred forces that can animate your home.

More Positive Rasas

Chivalry or bravery is definitely a feel-good situation.  Chivalry is represented on the stage by firmness, patience, heroism, pride, zeal, valour and wit. Bravery fills you with enthusiasm, energy and spontaneity. It is this brave and gentle quality that defines a true hero and it reaps the benefits of other’s happiness.  Bravery is seen in the small everyday courage that each of us is called to manifest in the face of obstacles.  The ability to sacrifice, which is the core of emotional intelligence, is a part of the vira rasa.  The ability to persist in the face of difficulties is a part of this.  To meet the jealousy and pettiness of the world with gentleness, humour and fearlessness is part of it.  Brilliance and elegance belong to the true warrior, who aligns himself with the powerful forces of goodness. 

1. Enjoy the thrill of overcoming obstacles.

2. Do not be cast down by failure, instead enjoy the thrill of overcoming the problem.

3.  Be involved in solving community problems.

4.  Get involved in speaking up against injustice and resisting evil.

5.  Remember that beyond the stormy mountain is the calm green valley.

Build Family Bonding

‘The family is the shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ wrote Alvin Toffler in his classic ‘Future Shock’. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus.

It is our mission to restore the family to its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, gives support, and manages the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working couples.

Dharmic Living

Anything that helps human being to reach God is dharma and anything that hinders human being from reaching God is adharma. According to the Bhagavat Purana, righteous living or life on a dharmic path has four aspects: austerity (tap), purity (shauch), compassion (daya) and truthfulness (satya); and adharmic or unrighteous life has three vices: pride (ahankar), contact (sangh), and intoxication (madya). The essence of dharma lies in possessing a certain ability, power and spiritual strength. The strength of being dharmic also lies in the unique combination of spiritual brilliance and physical prowess.

The purpose of dharma is not only to attain a union of the soul with the supreme reality, it also suggests a code of conduct that is intended to secure both worldly joys and supreme happiness. The practice of dharma gives an experience of peace, joy, strength and tranquillity within one's self and makes life disciplined.

The main difference between human and other lower forms of life is that man alone can lead a dharmic life (righteous life) and is fully capable of it. All life is divine. The divinity of life manifests as the ever nourishing fragrance of peace. In fact peace always exists in the cavern of one’s heart as awareness or being. But it manifests externally only on leading a righteous life. Righteous life is synonymous with peaceful life. Dharmic life is synonymous with divine life or surrender to God.

Parameters for Physical Wellness

Physical transformation is possible, if like the ancient yogis, we follow the actions of young animals. The mountain pose in the suryanamaskar is derived from the back stretch of the dog. Watch the young dog. It is always in movement and bouncing and stretching. Make physical movement a part of your daily life. As the salesmen say ‘Cover territory instead of covering your chair’. ‘Use it or lose it’ said Jane Fonda. Violent physical exercise once a week is no use, if you’re just vegetating for the rest of the week in front of the TV or computer. Listen more and bark less, use non verbal actions to show unconditional affection to family and friends.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.

Create Laughter Breaks

Laughter increases the levels of endorphins in our bodies, which are natural pain-killers. Norman Cousins, an American journalist who wrote “Anatomy of an Illness” was suffering from an incurable disease. Laughter therapy helped him when no pain-killer could. Endorphins released as a result of laughter may help in reducing the intensity of pain in those suffering from arthritis, spondylitis and muscular spasms of the body. Many women have also reported a reduced frequency of migraine and tension headaches. Norman Cousins recovered from what is usually a fatal disease

He who laughs frequently is less likely to suffer from heart attacks. ‘A light answer turneth away wrath,’ says a proverb. An anger hijack can be stopped by a joke. Laughter is certainly the best medicine. You can be happy by taking regular laughter breaks. There are a number of causes for high blood pressure and heart disease like heredity, obesity, smoking and excessive intake of saturated fats. But stress is one of the main factors. Laughter definitely helps control blood pressure by reducing the release of stress-related hormones and bringing relaxation.

The Ideal Householder

The ideal householder leads on earth a consecrated life, not unmindful of any duty to the living, or to the departed. His wife, the glory of his house, is modest and frugal, adores her husband, guards herself, and is the guardian of his house’s fame. His children are his choicest treasures; their babbling voices are his music; he feasts with the Gods when he eats the rice their tiny fingers have played with; and his one aim is to make them worthier than himself. Affection is the very life of his soul, of all his virtues the first and greatest. The sum and source of them all is love. His house is open to every guest, whom he welcomes with a smiling face and a pleasant word, and with whom he shares his meal, courteous in speech grateful for every kindness, just in all his dealings, master of himself in perfect self-control, strict in the performance of every assigned duty, pure, patient and forbearing with a heart free from envy, moderate in desires, speaking no evil of others, refraining from unprofitable words, dreading the touch of evil diligent in the discharge of all the duties of his position, and liberal in his benefaction, he is one whom all unite to praise. 

Need of Family Network

Today, however, the family, as the ‘shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ in the words of Alvin Toffler in his landmark work Future Shock, is going through a transitional phase. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a  loosening of extended family relationships. The powerful mother-in-law of the joint family is emerging as the subdued caretaker of children, helping the educated daughter-in-law augment the double income of all upwardly mobile young couples. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus. Much like the modern  corporation, there is no place to hide, no place for passengers, and everyone has to pull their own weight. It is our mission to restore to it its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, albeit in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, give support, and manage the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working mothers.

Meditation

Meditation is the broom that sweeps out the negative emotions and pours the honey of tranquillity into the mind. There are many forms of meditation. Here are some examples: Each of our senses provides us with new adventures and helps us live more fully. Often, however, our senses are scrambled or numbed by the hurry of life. Opening-up meditation gives us a heightened awareness of our senses. Explore each one of your senses and experience their immense potential for joy. The purpose of this meditation is to relax the physical body and the mind.

This exercise of sense-opening can be performed with any object, and while taking a walk in the park, in the house, or at your workplace. For the purpose of the example here we will use an apple. Practise this meditation for ten minutes. Some actions are performed simultaneously, but focus on one sense at a time.

1. See: Take an apple and closely examine its outer skin—its colour variations and texture. Peel it and inspect the edge of the peel. Look at the inside of the peel. Cut the apple into wedges and look closely at them. Break open a wedge and examine the heart of the apple—the tiny seeds and the wooden core. It is even permissible to use a magnifying glass.

2. Hear: Squeeze the apple. Is there a sound? As you peel it, listen. Bend the peel and listen to the sounds. What sound is it? Close your eyes and break a wedge in half. What sound is there? Rub your fingers along the outside of the peel. Is there a sound? Rub your fingers along the inside of the peel. What difference is there?

3. Touch: Close your eyes and rub your fingers along the outside of an unpeeled apple. Feel the texture. Rub your hands all over the apple. Spend five minutes examining the apple with your fingers before peeling it. Peel it slowly, feeling each piece. Break the apple into wedges and explore each wedge. Feel the inside of the peel. Examine the edges.

4. Taste: Close your eyes and place a wedge of the apple in your mouth. Bite slowly into the wedge. Bite a piece of the peel. Taste the pulp. How many different tastes are there in an apple?

5. Smell: Sniff an unpeeled apple. Peel it and smell the inside of the peel. Smell a wedge. Bend the peel and smell the acid as it explodes from the peel. Smell the pulp. Smell a squeezed wedge. How many different smells are there in an apple?

By extending the senses one forgets about present problems and is able to relax. By allowing in more than the ordinary amount of information from a single sense, other thoughts are blocked. That is why it is called meditation. It must be patently apparent that if one can extend the senses to examine an apple, those senses can be used in an even more extensive way during a walk in the park, or on a city road, on the way to work, or during lunch. It is a handy, quick and efficient way to meditate. It will even work with an apple!

Tips to Assess family welfare

Here are some questions which helps you to understand your family welfare.

1. Is your family important to you?

2. Do you spend quality time with members of your family?

3. Would you like to increase the amount of quality time you spend with your family?

4. Does your family include those outside the nuclear family?

5. Is your family linked together through the internet, letters or phone calls?

6. Is respect from your family important to you?

7. Do you show appreciation for things your family has done for you?

8. Do you seek to make your family life different from what it is today?

9. Do you do things to bring about a happier marriage and family life?

10. Do you seek out books and classes that would help you to be a successful parent?

11. Do alcohol and tobacco play a part in your life? Is it a problem?

12. Do you speak up too much or too little in your family?

13. Is there too much fighting in your family?

14. Do you have a bad temper?

15. Does your family do fun things together?

16. Are you considerate in handling of misunderstandings between family members?

17. Do you come from a broken or divorced family?

18. Given the present situation, is there anything you could do to strengthen family ties?

19. Could you possibly use outside help such as counsellors and friends, to assist you in attaining a solid family now or in the future?

a. Good: More than 10 Yeses

b. Adequate: More than 6 Yeses

c. Poor: Less than 5 Yeses

Good out of Bad

Our life provides us with a chance to achieve the highest in ourselves, by using pain as stepping-stones to enlightenment. No one can avoid bad times, but we can ensure that we look at this time as a time for growth and learning. When the mind-numbing pain that immediately follows loss has subsided, we can take proactive steps to provide emergency attention to heal our body, mind and spirit. Pour music into soul. Touch people whom we love. Explore new places. Reach into great books and study alternate futures. Pamper yourself and ask your loved ones for hugs. Meditate. Be silent. Plug into the universe. Let go. Let God catch you. Our sankalpa or intention must be pure. Be clear about the goal. Be non-judgemental. Love and seek to understand with tenderness. Learn and immerse yourself in knowledge. Learn all we can about our chosen field from books, internet, from people, competitors. Remain focused. Never give up. Never, ever!

Enhance Positive Energy for Emotional Wellness

Elevate everyday experiences to the level of sacredness. When work is done with such love, it fills the body and mind with bliss and transforms any place into a sacred space. As Kalil Gibran writes in The Prophet, ‘What is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth from the strings of your heart, as though your Beloved were to wear it.’This reverence or shraddha is due to all, because of the divine spark that dwells in all men—whether he is a legend or a leper. Sometimes it is obvious. The Divine spark is the silent flame of consciousness that reaches out to you from a flowering creeper or a healthy pet. Sometimes this life force has lost its vitality and is dimmed by dirt, lethargy and lack of care. Clean the glass of your lamp. Make the light shine through. Decide to approach all events, people, and things with affection, shraddha.

Nurturing Life-Force

Prana is the life-force that flows in all living things. When prana leaves the body, the body dies. When prana is in full flow, the person is full of vitality, energy and enthusiasm. Prana creates a field of possibilities where the seed of any idea develops rapidly, where our activities proceed smoothly and bear rich dividends. To develop prana, meditation, pranayama and a calm attitude are key. Freshly-cooked healthy food, pure fresh air and yogic exercise nurture and enhance prana. Eating too much, consuming stale food, exercising till you are ready to drop dead, constant arguments, overworking, getting emotionally upset, breathing polluted air, all interfere with the smooth flow of prana.

‘Irritable Face’ Syndrome

Irritable bowel syndrome is something all of us know about. But how about the irritable face syndrome – the ‘castor oil’ face? Some people, on principle, wake up with the sole purpose of spreading gloom and doom. They act as though nothing good will ever come out of this day.

So when you wake up in the morning, wash your face, like it is a piece of unique, precious china. Blot it dry and give yourself a big smile in the mirror. Remember, the most important thing you will be wearing during the day, will be a smile. Appreciate yourself for all the things you have handled on the previous day.

Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor who wrote ‘Stumbling on Happiness,’ mentions the following things about the science behind the smile. Here is what he says:

·         Healthy people are usually happier.

·          People who participate in religious organizations are happier

·         People who feel financially comfortable are happier.

·         People in good romantic relationships are happier those who aren’t.

But here is the catch, “a new house or a new spouse can make you happier, but not much and not for long,” he says.

Negative events like losing a job or being disgraced do not make us as unhappy as we think they will, because very soon humans find the silver lining and become adept at seeing why everything works out for the best.  There is the case of Moreese Bickham the who served in the United State Army spent 37 years in jail and on his release said, “I don’t have one minute’s regret. It was a glorious experience.” Pete Best, the original drummer of the Beatles who dropped out just before they become big, said, “I am happier than I would have been in the Beatles.” So the point is, focus on minute to minute, small, joyful events. The high points and catastrophes are few and far between. So work out your daily happiness breaks.