Build Family Bonding

‘The family is the shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ wrote Alvin Toffler in his classic ‘Future Shock’. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus.

It is our mission to restore the family to its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, gives support, and manages the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working couples.

Dharmic Living

Anything that helps human being to reach God is dharma and anything that hinders human being from reaching God is adharma. According to the Bhagavat Purana, righteous living or life on a dharmic path has four aspects: austerity (tap), purity (shauch), compassion (daya) and truthfulness (satya); and adharmic or unrighteous life has three vices: pride (ahankar), contact (sangh), and intoxication (madya). The essence of dharma lies in possessing a certain ability, power and spiritual strength. The strength of being dharmic also lies in the unique combination of spiritual brilliance and physical prowess.

The purpose of dharma is not only to attain a union of the soul with the supreme reality, it also suggests a code of conduct that is intended to secure both worldly joys and supreme happiness. The practice of dharma gives an experience of peace, joy, strength and tranquillity within one's self and makes life disciplined.

The main difference between human and other lower forms of life is that man alone can lead a dharmic life (righteous life) and is fully capable of it. All life is divine. The divinity of life manifests as the ever nourishing fragrance of peace. In fact peace always exists in the cavern of one’s heart as awareness or being. But it manifests externally only on leading a righteous life. Righteous life is synonymous with peaceful life. Dharmic life is synonymous with divine life or surrender to God.

Parameters for Physical Wellness

Physical transformation is possible, if like the ancient yogis, we follow the actions of young animals. The mountain pose in the suryanamaskar is derived from the back stretch of the dog. Watch the young dog. It is always in movement and bouncing and stretching. Make physical movement a part of your daily life. As the salesmen say ‘Cover territory instead of covering your chair’. ‘Use it or lose it’ said Jane Fonda. Violent physical exercise once a week is no use, if you’re just vegetating for the rest of the week in front of the TV or computer. Listen more and bark less, use non verbal actions to show unconditional affection to family and friends.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.

Create Laughter Breaks

Laughter increases the levels of endorphins in our bodies, which are natural pain-killers. Norman Cousins, an American journalist who wrote “Anatomy of an Illness” was suffering from an incurable disease. Laughter therapy helped him when no pain-killer could. Endorphins released as a result of laughter may help in reducing the intensity of pain in those suffering from arthritis, spondylitis and muscular spasms of the body. Many women have also reported a reduced frequency of migraine and tension headaches. Norman Cousins recovered from what is usually a fatal disease

He who laughs frequently is less likely to suffer from heart attacks. ‘A light answer turneth away wrath,’ says a proverb. An anger hijack can be stopped by a joke. Laughter is certainly the best medicine. You can be happy by taking regular laughter breaks. There are a number of causes for high blood pressure and heart disease like heredity, obesity, smoking and excessive intake of saturated fats. But stress is one of the main factors. Laughter definitely helps control blood pressure by reducing the release of stress-related hormones and bringing relaxation.

The Ideal Householder

The ideal householder leads on earth a consecrated life, not unmindful of any duty to the living, or to the departed. His wife, the glory of his house, is modest and frugal, adores her husband, guards herself, and is the guardian of his house’s fame. His children are his choicest treasures; their babbling voices are his music; he feasts with the Gods when he eats the rice their tiny fingers have played with; and his one aim is to make them worthier than himself. Affection is the very life of his soul, of all his virtues the first and greatest. The sum and source of them all is love. His house is open to every guest, whom he welcomes with a smiling face and a pleasant word, and with whom he shares his meal, courteous in speech grateful for every kindness, just in all his dealings, master of himself in perfect self-control, strict in the performance of every assigned duty, pure, patient and forbearing with a heart free from envy, moderate in desires, speaking no evil of others, refraining from unprofitable words, dreading the touch of evil diligent in the discharge of all the duties of his position, and liberal in his benefaction, he is one whom all unite to praise. 

Need of Family Network

Today, however, the family, as the ‘shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ in the words of Alvin Toffler in his landmark work Future Shock, is going through a transitional phase. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a  loosening of extended family relationships. The powerful mother-in-law of the joint family is emerging as the subdued caretaker of children, helping the educated daughter-in-law augment the double income of all upwardly mobile young couples. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus. Much like the modern  corporation, there is no place to hide, no place for passengers, and everyone has to pull their own weight. It is our mission to restore to it its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, albeit in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, give support, and manage the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working mothers.

Meditation

Meditation is the broom that sweeps out the negative emotions and pours the honey of tranquillity into the mind. There are many forms of meditation. Here are some examples: Each of our senses provides us with new adventures and helps us live more fully. Often, however, our senses are scrambled or numbed by the hurry of life. Opening-up meditation gives us a heightened awareness of our senses. Explore each one of your senses and experience their immense potential for joy. The purpose of this meditation is to relax the physical body and the mind.

This exercise of sense-opening can be performed with any object, and while taking a walk in the park, in the house, or at your workplace. For the purpose of the example here we will use an apple. Practise this meditation for ten minutes. Some actions are performed simultaneously, but focus on one sense at a time.

1. See: Take an apple and closely examine its outer skin—its colour variations and texture. Peel it and inspect the edge of the peel. Look at the inside of the peel. Cut the apple into wedges and look closely at them. Break open a wedge and examine the heart of the apple—the tiny seeds and the wooden core. It is even permissible to use a magnifying glass.

2. Hear: Squeeze the apple. Is there a sound? As you peel it, listen. Bend the peel and listen to the sounds. What sound is it? Close your eyes and break a wedge in half. What sound is there? Rub your fingers along the outside of the peel. Is there a sound? Rub your fingers along the inside of the peel. What difference is there?

3. Touch: Close your eyes and rub your fingers along the outside of an unpeeled apple. Feel the texture. Rub your hands all over the apple. Spend five minutes examining the apple with your fingers before peeling it. Peel it slowly, feeling each piece. Break the apple into wedges and explore each wedge. Feel the inside of the peel. Examine the edges.

4. Taste: Close your eyes and place a wedge of the apple in your mouth. Bite slowly into the wedge. Bite a piece of the peel. Taste the pulp. How many different tastes are there in an apple?

5. Smell: Sniff an unpeeled apple. Peel it and smell the inside of the peel. Smell a wedge. Bend the peel and smell the acid as it explodes from the peel. Smell the pulp. Smell a squeezed wedge. How many different smells are there in an apple?

By extending the senses one forgets about present problems and is able to relax. By allowing in more than the ordinary amount of information from a single sense, other thoughts are blocked. That is why it is called meditation. It must be patently apparent that if one can extend the senses to examine an apple, those senses can be used in an even more extensive way during a walk in the park, or on a city road, on the way to work, or during lunch. It is a handy, quick and efficient way to meditate. It will even work with an apple!

Tips to Assess family welfare

Here are some questions which helps you to understand your family welfare.

1. Is your family important to you?

2. Do you spend quality time with members of your family?

3. Would you like to increase the amount of quality time you spend with your family?

4. Does your family include those outside the nuclear family?

5. Is your family linked together through the internet, letters or phone calls?

6. Is respect from your family important to you?

7. Do you show appreciation for things your family has done for you?

8. Do you seek to make your family life different from what it is today?

9. Do you do things to bring about a happier marriage and family life?

10. Do you seek out books and classes that would help you to be a successful parent?

11. Do alcohol and tobacco play a part in your life? Is it a problem?

12. Do you speak up too much or too little in your family?

13. Is there too much fighting in your family?

14. Do you have a bad temper?

15. Does your family do fun things together?

16. Are you considerate in handling of misunderstandings between family members?

17. Do you come from a broken or divorced family?

18. Given the present situation, is there anything you could do to strengthen family ties?

19. Could you possibly use outside help such as counsellors and friends, to assist you in attaining a solid family now or in the future?

a. Good: More than 10 Yeses

b. Adequate: More than 6 Yeses

c. Poor: Less than 5 Yeses

Good out of Bad

Our life provides us with a chance to achieve the highest in ourselves, by using pain as stepping-stones to enlightenment. No one can avoid bad times, but we can ensure that we look at this time as a time for growth and learning. When the mind-numbing pain that immediately follows loss has subsided, we can take proactive steps to provide emergency attention to heal our body, mind and spirit. Pour music into soul. Touch people whom we love. Explore new places. Reach into great books and study alternate futures. Pamper yourself and ask your loved ones for hugs. Meditate. Be silent. Plug into the universe. Let go. Let God catch you. Our sankalpa or intention must be pure. Be clear about the goal. Be non-judgemental. Love and seek to understand with tenderness. Learn and immerse yourself in knowledge. Learn all we can about our chosen field from books, internet, from people, competitors. Remain focused. Never give up. Never, ever!

Enhance Positive Energy for Emotional Wellness

Elevate everyday experiences to the level of sacredness. When work is done with such love, it fills the body and mind with bliss and transforms any place into a sacred space. As Kalil Gibran writes in The Prophet, ‘What is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth from the strings of your heart, as though your Beloved were to wear it.’This reverence or shraddha is due to all, because of the divine spark that dwells in all men—whether he is a legend or a leper. Sometimes it is obvious. The Divine spark is the silent flame of consciousness that reaches out to you from a flowering creeper or a healthy pet. Sometimes this life force has lost its vitality and is dimmed by dirt, lethargy and lack of care. Clean the glass of your lamp. Make the light shine through. Decide to approach all events, people, and things with affection, shraddha.

Nurturing Life-Force

Prana is the life-force that flows in all living things. When prana leaves the body, the body dies. When prana is in full flow, the person is full of vitality, energy and enthusiasm. Prana creates a field of possibilities where the seed of any idea develops rapidly, where our activities proceed smoothly and bear rich dividends. To develop prana, meditation, pranayama and a calm attitude are key. Freshly-cooked healthy food, pure fresh air and yogic exercise nurture and enhance prana. Eating too much, consuming stale food, exercising till you are ready to drop dead, constant arguments, overworking, getting emotionally upset, breathing polluted air, all interfere with the smooth flow of prana.