Build Family Bonding

‘The family is the shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ wrote Alvin Toffler in his classic ‘Future Shock’. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus.It is our mission to restore the family to its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, gives support, and manages the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working couples.

More Positive Rasas

Chivalry or bravery is definitely a feel-good situation.  Chivalry is represented on the stage by firmness, patience, heroism, pride, zeal, valour and wit. Bravery fills you with enthusiasm, energy and spontaneity. It is this brave and gentle quality that defines a true hero and it reaps the benefits of other’s happiness.  Bravery is seen in the small everyday courage that each of us is called to manifest in the face of obstacles.  The ability to sacrifice, which is the core of emotional intelligence, is a part of the vira rasa.  The ability to persist in the face of difficulties is a part of this.  To meet the jealousy and pettiness of the world with gentleness, humour and fearlessness is part of it.  Brilliance and elegance belong to the true warrior, who aligns himself with the powerful forces of goodness. 

1. Enjoy the thrill of overcoming obstacles.

2. Do not be cast down by failure, instead enjoy the thrill of overcoming the problem.

3.  Be involved in solving community problems.

4.  Get involved in speaking up against injustice and resisting evil.

5.  Remember that beyond the stormy mountain is the calm green valley.

Dharmic Living

Anything that helps human being to reach God is dharma and anything that hinders human being from reaching God is adharma. According to the Bhagavat Purana, righteous living or life on a dharmic path has four aspects: austerity (tap), purity (shauch), compassion (daya) and truthfulness (satya); and adharmic or unrighteous life has three vices: pride (ahankar), contact (sangh), and intoxication (madya). The essence of dharma lies in possessing a certain ability, power and spiritual strength. The strength of being dharmic also lies in the unique combination of spiritual brilliance and physical prowess.

The purpose of dharma is not only to attain a union of the soul with the supreme reality, it also suggests a code of conduct that is intended to secure both worldly joys and supreme happiness. The practice of dharma gives an experience of peace, joy, strength and tranquillity within one's self and makes life disciplined.

The main difference between human and other lower forms of life is that man alone can lead a dharmic life (righteous life) and is fully capable of it. All life is divine. The divinity of life manifests as the ever nourishing fragrance of peace. In fact peace always exists in the cavern of one’s heart as awareness or being. But it manifests externally only on leading a righteous life. Righteous life is synonymous with peaceful life. Dharmic life is synonymous with divine life or surrender to God.

Parameters for Physical Wellness

Physical transformation is possible, if like the ancient yogis, we follow the actions of young animals. The mountain pose in the suryanamaskar is derived from the back stretch of the dog. Watch the young dog. It is always in movement and bouncing and stretching. Make physical movement a part of your daily life. As the salesmen say ‘Cover territory instead of covering your chair’. ‘Use it or lose it’ said Jane Fonda. Violent physical exercise once a week is no use, if you’re just vegetating for the rest of the week in front of the TV or computer. Listen more and bark less, use non verbal actions to show unconditional affection to family and friends.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.

Create Laughter Breaks

Laughter increases the levels of endorphins in our bodies, which are natural pain-killers. Norman Cousins, an American journalist who wrote “Anatomy of an Illness” was suffering from an incurable disease. Laughter therapy helped him when no pain-killer could. Endorphins released as a result of laughter may help in reducing the intensity of pain in those suffering from arthritis, spondylitis and muscular spasms of the body. Many women have also reported a reduced frequency of migraine and tension headaches. Norman Cousins recovered from what is usually a fatal disease

He who laughs frequently is less likely to suffer from heart attacks. ‘A light answer turneth away wrath,’ says a proverb. An anger hijack can be stopped by a joke. Laughter is certainly the best medicine. You can be happy by taking regular laughter breaks. There are a number of causes for high blood pressure and heart disease like heredity, obesity, smoking and excessive intake of saturated fats. But stress is one of the main factors. Laughter definitely helps control blood pressure by reducing the release of stress-related hormones and bringing relaxation.

Navarasas of The Human Heart

Emotions, and the way you deal with them can affect your health. This guide will help you understand the impact of nine primary emotions in maintaining health. The positive emotions create a positive field which fills your blood with the chemicals of happiness and wellbeing. They are conducive to the building or rebuilding of the healthy heart.  The negative emotions create a negative field which fills your blood with the chemicals of unrest and unhappiness.

Navarasas are a two-thousand-year-old Indian concept of emotions which see the mind as a space filled with positive and negative emotions. These emotions are: love, laughter, compassion, chivalry, anger, fear, abhorrence and wonder. Shantha or peace is the result of handling all these emotions correctly.

Obviously, the positive emotions or states like love, humour, compassion, chivalry and wonder put the mind in a happy and enthusiastic state, thereby fostering health. On the other hand, the negative rasas like anger, fear and abhorrence produce a state of mind which creates, as described in Daniel Goleman’s book, an ‘emotional hijack’.

Celebrate Water

When we are in the midst of summer and right before us is the Ganga Dussehra (18th June). This is the 10 day celebration when Rishi Bhagirath brought the river Ganga down to the earth to wash away his ancestor’s sin.

The resplendent Ganga aarthi, worshipping the Ganga in all important Ghats with its, lighted lamps, flowers and mantras, shows us how we Indians love and worship the power of water. The Ganga Dussehra in the culmination of our reverence for water.

Hardly surprising, since 2/3 of the human body is made of water. Imagine, the brain is 75% water, blood is 83% water, bones 22%, muscles 75% water and lungs 90%! A decrease of 2% in our body’s water content, can cause serious health problems.

Over 6000 children die every day due to polluted water. These are easily preventable deaths. It is said that the next great war will be fought over water, as we overuse, pollute and waste water. So as we approach Ganga Dussehra, let us take personal responsibility to save water.

Power Of Communication

Each of us is a remarkable bundle of talents and abilities and skills. It is this package that defines our career ‘Brand’ on Life’s shelves. Branding is the process of giving your career a unique identity or brand that will make your product or service unique. You have the opportunity to do this for yourself. Like Gandhiji’s brand was non-violence. Your brand should invoke a feeling of recognition and respect among those you interact with. What makes one person and his work, more sought after than others? It is the power of branding, which is a promise of value of the product. It is the combination of tangible and intangible characteristics. Would not you like to be a brand that stands for excellence, dedication and passion?

Dr. Albert Mehrabian said that 7% of what we absorb from other’s communication is by words, 38% by tone of voice and 55% from body language. The problem is that so much of our communication about ourselves is written. Video support on the media can certainly enhance impact. Linkedin with 2-3 testimonies would be good for your brand. A website, a face book page, can all do the same for you.

• Build a track record of excellence and goodwill
• Constantly pursue and share knowledge
• Communicate about yourself with stakeholders.
• Become an expert on your subject.
• Build an extraordinary network

Let everything you do help the community.

Creating the Positive Field

Around every person or place there is a field of emotional energy. Positive emotions like love, courage, humour, compassion wonder and peace create a positive field. Energy causes all beings to act in this world. The higher the level of energy, the greater the accomplishments. When we are tired, our energy level plummets and we do not feel like doing anything. When the field around is negative with hurt, anger, possessiveness, greed, jealously, fear and abhorrence, we are less able to act with speed, effectiveness and efficiency. These emotions suck the energy and life force out of us. All beings have within them, the all-pervading life force or ‘prana’, the same force or energy that creates and sustains life in the universe. The capacity to enjoy the free gifts of Nature—sunlight, rain or flowers—allows the chemicals of bliss endorphins and serotonins to flow.

“In quantum physics this interdependency being of a thing and its overall environment is called field, and the implications of it are vast, both for our whole conception of reality and for our understanding of ourselves as partners in that reality,” writes Danah Zohar. Interdependence is key to a holding environment, where the true self can be shared.

Shangri-La

There is a place in the distant mountains which is always calm and peaceful, where the earth is laden with luscious fruit and wholesome grain, where people are vital, healthy and happy. Where every edifice is artistic and beauty clothes every home in the loveliness hand made artifacts and the community is one happy family. Lush forests, dazzling with their painted butterflies, exotic animals and birds from distant lands. The air is fresh and the water is pure and the sound of holy mantras is carried on every gentle breeze. This is the mythical Shangri-La…..

Shangri-La is the result of Mankind’s desire to create this happy town, city and finally nation. Shangri-La is not really a place. It is inside everyone’s own heart. The dream city is only a reflection of our own peaceful, happy heart.

1.            Make many friends, who get together to laugh, work, read and share.

2.            Plant more trees.

3.            Clean up the roads.

4.            Start walking and playing together with the kids on the street.

5.            Share the knowledge, play, beauty and wisdom. Create the ‘village’ which is needed to raise a child in your community.

6.            Use garbage to create gardens and get everything bright and blooming

Celebrating Summer

Summer is waiting, crouching in the shadows to leap upon us with an orange roar of colour, heat and sweat. In the drama of the four seasons, summer is the brightest. The Kashmir valley celebrates the Tulip festival in April at Siraj Bagh, clasped in embrace of the scenic Zabrawan range, in Srinagar. Nearly 60 varieties of beautiful Tulips worship the sun in over 5 hectares of land.

Imagine a living carpet caressed by the cool summer breeze, woven by the great Architect of the Universe Himself! It is a changing kaleidoscope of red, yellow, variegated pink, white, orange, light blue and magenta. The Kashmiris celebrate this event by displaying their handicrafts and cultural programs. Authentic Kashmiri cuisine is part of the festival. After last week’s events, I wonder whether blood is good for the Tulips to grow? Vibrant life and the tragic death of beautiful young people lie so closely woven together, here.

Summer too is like that, let us decide to enjoy the joy and vibrancy of the season and push the discomfort to the back of our minds. Welcome and celebrate the summer. Plant the colourful, short lived summer flowers. Float them in water, in artistic mud, wide mouthed, pots.

Celebrate summer in the evening breezes in flower strewn gardens and lazy beaches. Celebrate with raw mango juice and lime sherbet. This is the season for a luxury bath – set apart time for your tryst with cool water sprays in the pool and in the bath. Emperor Akbar had to get his ice from the Himalayan glaciers on elephant back. We just need to keep the fridge well stocked. Wear a cool attitude and retreat to cool air conditioned spaces at noon, instead of testing your tolerance with outdoor tasks.

Create a water spot for people who walk past your house. Fill the bird baths and set out water for the squirrels. Happy summer holidays!

The International Family day

The International family day is on 15^th May. As the world becomes more and more self centered, and people shift to a more solitary and independent way of life, it is a way to remember the most important bond in human society. It is the family that is holding and protecting the human society through the ups and downs of the human life cycle

This day highlights the importance of this relationship which is the birth right of all. It also focuses on important issues that can strengthen it – equality, sharing of domestic responsibilities and work life balance. The family is the most important institution that has existed from the beginning of human society.

The family today has undergone many changes, but it is usually made up of married adults, and their children, living together and enjoying economic co-operation. Here are some steps we can take to strengthen the family unit.

·         Enhance the bonds of mutual affection and goodwill by organizing annual get-together, pujas, prayers and religious festivals like Diwali, Eid, Bakrid, Good Friday, X’mas, Mahavir Jayanthi, Guru Nanak Jayanti, etc and also other festivals like Pongal, Onam, Baisakhi, Ugadi, Holi, etc.

·         Ensure that caring adults in the family shape the lives of children during the first three years which are spent at home. Elders should help young parents to accomplish this, especially if both parents are working

·         Enjoy and celebrate successes in the family digitally. Comfort each other through loss and failure.

·         Ensure ‘family time’, good work-life balance and proper sharing of work at home.

·         Celebrate the contribution of care, wisdom and love of elders to the family. Teach respect for them, from youngsters, by setting an example in your behavior towards your elders.

The family is the most permanent institution in human society. Make sure that it remains strong and stable for the well being of future generations and Mankind.

Proactive Change

The results of transformative change are all around us this summer. Sunflower plants busting out from seeds where they have slept tightly curled, butterflies leaving behind their worn out cocoons, flowers dressing up the bare limbs of trees. This time as the financial year begins, it is the time for proactive change.

Change is the only certainty in an uncertain world. This year you will change, merely because everything around you will change. What you can decide is, whether you will lead the change or become a victim of it.

Think about proactively changing things in the following areas of your life.

1.      Personal

2.      Family

3.      Professional

4.      Social

Things will change anyway. Make sure they change in the way you want. And remember a butterfly is not an improved caterpillar. Just as a sunflower is not an improved seed.

Give Yourself a Hug

Soon you will be looking at March, 31^st the time of financial reckoning and feeling completely drained and knocked out. You are overworked and exhausted and you don’t like the person you see in the mirror. Your doctor does not like the person he sees in your medical reports.

Now turn inward and start a personal affirmation account for yourself.  Give yourself a big hug for being the most hard working, kind and special person in your life. Invest in a note book which will document your love affair with yourself.

v  Write a love letter to yourself. Recognize your unique beauty, your capacity to do your best and all the gifts that make you such a fabulous person. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into place,” said Lucille Ball.

v  Start a gratefulness dairy where you record all the things you are grateful for. Thank God for His blessings.

v  ‘I can,’ is a hundred times more important that IQ. Celebrate your smallest successes. Stop that nagging, critical voice in your head that keeps picking on you. Speak to yourself kindly and lovingly.

v  Stop worrying. The way to be happy is to stop worrying about things which cannot be changed.

v  Plug into the Source of all power, through prayer and meditation and acknowledge that you are a child of God, made in his own image.

v  Explore, dream, discover: at the end of your life do not regret all the dreams you have failed to pursue.

Take care of your body. It is the only home you have: nourish it, nurture it, exercise it. Make friends with a young physician. Focus on it, love it! Have fun! Because as Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

Why Regret?

Imagine a buttoned down, French stock broker, suddenly flying off to the South Sea Islands and becoming a famous painter. Paul Gauguin a Post Impressionist painter, who influenced many modern artists such as Pablo Picasso and Henri Matisse is an unusual case of having achieved his dreams in mid career. I am sure he died without regrets. It’s never late to follow your dreams. If only, or it might have been…. are the saddest words in the English language.

Most people, on their death beds do not regret what they have done. Most regrets are about all the things they have not done. So it is important to do all the things you want to do, by preparing a to-do list. This is a human privilege, because humans are the only living creatures who are able to plan for the future.

The best way to be happy is, of course to live intensely in the present. That is why it is called a gift or a present. Plan at least 6 ‘happiness breaks’ every day. Because research shows that it is many small, minute-to-minute happiness creating activities, that lead to a happy life rather than the one big, award or achievement.