How Does Stress Affect Us?

Let us consider the most common emotion of this century—anger. What happens when you are angry?

Thirty-six chemicals pour into the blood: Lethal chemicals like adrenaline and histamine. The heart and pulse rates shoot up. The rate of breathing increases. The body gets ready to fight or flee. Digestion is switched off. All parts of the brain, except the primitive 'lizard brain'is switched off. Primitive man who was confronted by a tiger needed this state of high alert to survive in the jungle. Today, this desperate Mayday response, this most primitive survival response, is used frivolously, not to save life, but in response to office politics or a traffic jam.

As the blood rushes through the heart, during an anger attack, it raises blood pressure. The force of blood-flow in an enraged person causes minute tears in the tender fabric of the arteries. Fatty deposits find a convenient place to park themselves to repair the tears—cholesterol, the plaster of Paris of the body, slowly builds up to occlude the artery. Soon the tender flexible artery becomes stiff and hard, preparing the stage for a heart attack.

Stress The Killer: Beware

The twenty-first century will be the century of the Mind. The Mind is man's last unconquered frontier. The Upanishads describe it as fast, fickle and uncontrollable, like a dozen swift horses travelling at breakneck speed. Mankind is paying a steep price for failing to learn more about the Mind before embarking on the race for success in the new millennium. Stress is the price we pay for success. Stress stalks the precarious climb up the corporate ladder.

The Five Stress-Triggering Emotions

Any of the big five emotions—Kama, Kroda, Madha, Lobha, Matsarya (lust, anger, arrogance, greed, jealousy) respectively can flood the body with the chemicals of stress. Stress is destructive. Stress is ageing. Stress is a killer.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Energy and Enthusiasm

It is energy that causes all beings to act in this world. The higher the level of positive energy, the greater the accomplishments.

When we are tired, our energy level plummets and we do not feel like doing anything. When the field around is negative with hurt, anger, possessiveness, greed, jealously, fear and abhorrence, we are less able to act with speed, effectiveness and efficiency. These emotions suck the energy and life force out of us. All beings have within them, the all-pervading life force, the same force or energy that creates and sustains life in the universe and nourishes it. It is the universal nature of energy that binds and connects all creatures in a single, networked web. That is why it is difficult to be completely happy while hurting others. The universal life energy acts and lives in all created matter. It is necessary at all times to make sure that the creation of a negative field is carefully avoided.

Relationship with Self

Why are you mean and unkind to yourself? Why do you talk to yourself in that cruel, cutting way? What is that tape, running in your head? Here are some suggestions on adjusting your emotional attitude towards yourself:

Loving another equal and an adult, is transforming—tune in.

Listen to yourself, nurture yourself.

Discipline gives you true freedom.

Forgive yourself.

Live in the present. Now. Every minute.

Love and work are the most precious gifts you can give another.

A gift of yourself is the greatest gift you can give another.

Ask for help. Network.

Do not pretend to be in total control.

Periodically reinvent and renew yourself.

Try hard to keep promises and commitments—your internal sense of justice will punish all infractions.

Cacti can be as beautiful as a rose bush. Love them anyway.

Explore the concept of acceptance of self.

Love yourself. Accept yourself, your body and mind, as you are.While trying to improve both, affirm and love yourself as you are today, here and now.

Accept your whole life, as a divine gift, good and bad as it is now.

Love others. You are the mirror, in which all your loved ones see themselves. You can soothe and inspire them by reflecting back an image that is lovable and competent. Calvin Cooley, renowned sociologist has described the Mirror Image thus: ‘I am what I think, you think I am.’ If you are constantly putting down others, they can be mentally destroyed. Their unhappiness can harm your mindscape.

Accept your family as they are. Unrealistic expectations about your child can put unrelenting pressure on him. Mills and Boon expectations of your spouse can make them feel unloved and inadequate. They can then become cranky and difficult.

You do not need revenge. Let go. Go forward and live. Compete only with yourself. Take pleasure in others’ growth and achievement.

Keep the child in you alive, stroke and liberate the playmate, cuddle the baby in you.

The Negative Field

If some people in the group feel excluded, they cannot contribute good ideas or a happy atmosphere. They may even change the nature of a positive field by their unhappiness. Just as a drop of cyanide can poison a clear pool of water, so too the unhappiness of a single person can poison the field in a home or a company. They give off toxic waves of hostility and can turn a flourishing field into a desert.

A negative field is toxic with distrust. In the negative field, individuals are afraid to think differently; new ideas wither before they are formulated. In such a field, only the most obvious ideas, which appear practical and sensible will be shared. All but the most obvious ideas will be rejected. These ideas will be of little use because they are probably centuries old.

A child who is never praised or complimented turns into an insecure adult with little self-esteem, he does not want to say or do anything that others will laugh at. Continued exposure to the negative field can cause many health problems.

It is easy to identify the negative field in your home or organization. Danger signals may range from a lack of enthusiasm and interest to gross outbursts of rage. Being part of a group belonging a negative field can be a soul sapping experience. The symptoms of such a field are sour looks and suspicion. Politics and manipulation will have a free run. You can identify such a field when the Big Five:- Lust, Anger, Obession, Greed and Jealousy roam like wild beasts in the garden of your life. You can change the field by first changing yourself and filling the field with the positive emotions like love and compassion.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Be Silent: Listen To Yourself

In the silence, become aware of yourself. Be aware of your body as full of health and energy. Visualise peace, tranquility, prosperity and fulfillment. Be silent. Be aware of your breathing, the beating of your heart. Once you are aware of your body in silence, in peace and tranquility, then you begin to notice immediately, the destructive effects of stress. You become aware of the first, imperceptible symptoms: the tightening of the jaw, the clenching of muscles in your throat and abdomen, the speeding of the heartbeat. Once you become aware, you can consciously decelerate. Be completely aware of the shift of feelings from moment to moment. Knowing exactly how you feel can help you make better emotional decisions.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Prana and the Positive Field

Prana is the life force that flows in all living things. When the life force leaves the body, the body dies. Kirlian photography has captured pictures of the pranic aura.

Meditation and a calm attitude cause prana to flow through all our activities smoothly.

When prana is in full flow, the person is full of vitality and energy and enthusiasm.

Prana is nurtured by freshly cooked, healthy food.

Pranayama is very pro-prana.

Prana is fed by breathing pure fresh air.

Moderate exercise and yoga helps develop the life force.

Eating too much, consuming stale food, exercising till you are ready to drop dead, constant arguments, overworking, getting emotionally upset, breathing polluted air, all interfere with the smooth flow of prana. Moderation is the rule.

Prana enhances the positive field and the vital life force flows freely through it. It creates a powerful positive field—a field of all possibilities where any seed of an idea will develop rapidly.

.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

The Concept of Drala

The Tibetians of the Shambala tradition believe in a concept called Drala by which any space can be made sacred. Drala is created by the reverence, purity and faith within a space. When a person treats his office space with reverence and keeps it clean and sparkling, he attracts Drala into that space. Drala makes that space powerful and attractive. When he dresses carefully, speaks and acts mindfully, he attracts personal Drala.

Many are able to do this in their homes. Indian homes have beautiful white flower patterns drawn at the entrance to attract Lakshmi, the Goddess of Good Fortune. The atmosphere is further enhanced by the fragrance of incense and joss sticks.

Certain sounds like that of mantras or the sound of bells, or wind chimes in a Chinese home, are said to purify the field.

Steps you can take to welcome Drala into your life

* Keep your surroundings and living spaces clean.

* Create beauty in your surroundings with flowers and crystals

* Let music fill the space.

* Be mindful of what passes your lips – food and words. Let both be fine and healthy.

* Wash away the dust and dirt, and wear fresh clothes.

* Enjoy the present moment

.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

The Auspicious Field

Auspiciousness or a feeling of wellbeing is created in a space or a field by treating it as sacred.

What happens to a space that is sacred is transformation.

When you consider yourself as sacred, you will treat yourself well. You will wear clean, good smelling clothes. Maybe ironed and starched, mended if torn, but clean and fresh.You will smile at yourself, encourage yourself. Just as you put on clean fresh clothes, you will also clean up the mental space or field around you. Sweep out all ill will, anger, fear and anxiety. Let there be the fragrance of incense, divinity of prayer and mantra, the smiles of loved ones, laughter and joy, the smell and taste of good plain, food. It is as important to clean the field around you as it is to have a bath. Sweep out the sad baggage of the past. Take into that field only what is bright and elevating, fine and happy.

The space around you, your house, your office needs the same kind of careful attention.When a space is sacred, it magnetizes wonderful people and attracts beautiful events into it.

All the words spoken in that space should be sweet and loving. When harsh words or events happen, do not allow them to take root like evil weeds. Sweep them away and find gentleness and kindness that grows beneath.

All religions sanctify space by holy water, prayer, dress and conduct. Hindus draw sacred symbols on the earth with rice flour or chalk (kolam) and a particular space can be set apart for the gods and prayer.

A sacred space is defined by the rules of conduct laid down for those who enter, as in a court room, a church, a temple, or the parliament. Very few misbehave in such places, they are rarely able to cast away the weight of laws and customs built up over centuries around them. Some religions lay down rules of cleanliness and dress to enter sacred places, including a purificatory bath. A person who maintains such dignity and decorum in such a place, may be totally different in a bar or when at a party.

I think the analogy of a television monitor would describe this phenomenon better.Depending on which button you press, you get a different image. So too depending on the place, a different person emerges. Some places access the Highest and Noblest Self while others access the Beast, the Meanest.

This is true about people in different interactions. Some people create a field, which accesses the best in us, while others access the worst. If you learn the secret of positive fields, you can improve your Happiness Quotient. You can also get the best out of others. ‘Don’t push the wrong buttons,’ we say. What we mean is, don’t access his negative field.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Love and Reverence in Enhancing the Positive Field

Elevate everyday experiences to the level of sacredness.

I first met Reg when he was in his late seventies in Pondicherry. He was running the ‘Good Guest

House’. Hidden behind high walls, it is a lovely guest house surrounded by a green garden.

It is astonishing to step in from the dusty, noisy street, behind high walls, through a wooden door, into that perfect place.

The floors gleamed sparklingly clean, paintings hung on the walls and all was silent inside. Reg used to be a French chef. He met the Mother at the Pondicherry Ashram and stayed behind to look after the Good Guest House for her! ‘Who keeps it so clean?’ I asked. ‘I do’, he said. ‘I love to keep it gleaming, because when I clean the floor, I feel I am wiping the Mother’s feet.’

When work is done with such love, it fills the body and mind with bliss and transforms any place into a sacred space. As Kalil Gibran writes in The Prophet, ‘What is it to work with love? It is to weave the cloth from the strings of your heart, as though your Beloved were to wear it.’

This reverence or shraddha is due to all, because of the divine spark that dwells in all men—whether he is a legend or a leper. Sometimes it is obvious. The Divine spark is the silent flame of consciousness that reaches out to you from a flowering creeper or a healthy pet. Sometimes this life force has lost its vitality and is dimmed by dirt, lethargy and lack of care. Clean the glass of your lamp. Make the light shine through. Decide to approach all events, people, and things with affection, shraddha.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Tools for Creating a Positive Field

An ancient Indian prayer says: ‘Let all beings be happy.’ Not just friends and family, but all men, not just men but the wider world of all beings. When the great musician Tansen sang, it is said that deer wandered into the palace to listen. Decades ago, the great scientist J C Bose wrote about the response of plants to kindness.

Learning to create a positive field is an important part of the climate of wellbeing. The positive field is created by tools and behaviours that may be verbal, tonal and non-verbal.

Ø A common prayer or mantra.

Ø A mental process which draws a magic circle around all those who are participating.

Ø A common exercise, a common company song, common goals.

Ø A handshake, a friendly look, an encouraging word.

Ø Thinking, believing and acting in a positive manner.

Ø Laughter, commonly shared jokes.

Ø Meditation, practiced regularly, helps develop the capacity to be analytical, positive and disciplined, and eliminate negative fields.

Ø Affirmations, the most important constituent of the positive field. It is a verbal, tonal or non-verbal act of appreciation. A compliment can be a verbal hug. A verbal hug can replace a thousand words. There is a Sanskrit verse which roughly translated means: ‘Don’t say harsh or hurting words. If you have to say something unpleasant, do it as kindly as possible, while genuinely appreciating the good qualities of the person and the relationship.’ The great Tamil Poet, Thiruvalluvar has expressed it succinctly, when he says, ‘Why say harsh words, when kind words are available. Who would eat bitter, unripe fruit when sweet ripe fruits are at hand?’

However, the energy field around a person is most affected by positive, soul-level motives or ‘sankalpa’. If the gut-level motives are positive, the mere lack of skill in verbal, tonal and non–verbal transmissions can be overcome.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

The Secret Power of Emotional Fields

Around every person there is a field of emotional energy. Some people always look and feel radiant and everything in their life flourishes and grows. They have a positive energy field around them. Some people, on the other hand, always feel and look morose and tense, everything in their life seems to fade and die. They have a negative energy field around them.

The positive field is created by positive emotions and the negative field draws sustenance from negative emotions.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Yoga

The word ‘yoga’ is derived from the Sanskrit word yuj which means ‘yoke’ attach or ‘join’. It means the joining or uniting of the individual consciousness with the universal consciousness, or self-realisation.

The science of yoga was systematised by Maharishi Patanjanli in 285 yogasutras.

There are eight components of yoga. These are:

1. Yama: Our attitudes towards our environment.

2. Niyama: Our attitudes towards ourselves.

3. Asana: The practice of body exercises.

4. Pranayama: The practice of breathing exercises.

5. Pratyahara: The restraint of our senses.

6. Dharana: The ability to direct our minds.

7. Dhyana: The ability to develop interactions with what we seek to understand.

8. Samadhi: Complete integration with the object to be understood.

Their respective meanings are:

i) Universal moral commandments.

ii) Self-purification by discipline.

iii) Posture.

iv) Rhythmic control of breath.

v) Withdrawal of the mind from the domination of the senses and exterior object.

vi) Concentration.

vii) Meditation.

viii) Thoughtless state in which one becomes one with the object of his meditation.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Physical Wellness

Your Happiness Quotient is directly affected by your physical condition. Health is the foundation for a feeling of wellbeing and joy. It is very difficult to be full of enthusiasm if you are not in a state of positive health. The absence of disease is no indication of this state of perfect health. It is a hygiene factor for improving your HQ.

There are many steps that will take you to a state of optimum health. A complete medical check up once a year can provide accurate information about the state of your body to your physician. Make sure this becomes an annual habit.

Just as you would not tolerate a minor malfunctioning in your car, so too, you and your doctor should be vigilant for the slightest disturbance in your state of health. Minor problems, aches and pains should be dealt with immediately, rather than be endured with gritted teeth.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it.

The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Meditation

Enlightened Masters have also shown that meditation produces beneficial effects such as reduction of tension, lowering of blood pressure, relaxation of muscles, increased concentration and work efficiency, and increase of immunological resistance to diseases. As a result, some form of meditation has become an essential part of most holistic health programmes.

Service to others, music, prayer—all are forms of meditation—make the blood flow with serotonins—the happiness chemical. Hindu scriptures enjoin five types of service known as pancha-mahayajna—service to gods; service to sages; service to ancestors; service to humans, guests and the poor; and service to animals. A traditional Indian home, at dawn, feeds ants with the rice-flour rangoli drawn near the threshold, and crows and cows with leftover food.

Eating should be regarded as a sacred act. In an orthodox Hindu home, food is offered to the family deity first and is then consumed as prasad or offering with the diety’s blessing. There is a basic similarity between the rituals involved in offering food to the deity and those involved in eating oneself. In both cases, food is offered as oblations to the five pranas regarded as five fires. Even if one does not follow this ritualistic concept, one should make eating a fully conscious and peaceful act. Hurry, worry, anger, distractions and chattering should be avoided while eating.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Health is wealth and critical to happiness

Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing, not merely an absence of disease or infirmity. Really speaking, health is not a state but a continuous adjustment to the changing demands of life and the environment.Positive health implies perfect functioning of body and mind in a given society.

Ayurveda defines health as ‘svasthya’—to be one’s highest spiritual self. It is the state of equilibrium of the three doshas or mind-body energies that govern our external and internal environment―vata (wind); pitta (bile); and kapha (phlegm), along with a contented state of the senses, mind and soul.

All the ancients believed that no attempt should be made to cure the body without treating the mind and soul. To be healthy is to have the ability, despite an occasional bout of illness, to live with full use of your faculties and to be vigorous, alert and having a joie de vivre, even in old age. This concept of operational health has been termed ‘wellness’. It is a sense of all-round wellbeing.

Excerpts from 'The Happiness Quotient'

Enjoy the day

Each new day holds out a chance to create a whole new beginning, a sparkling new field of possibilities. At dawn, sweep out the toxic waste of hatred, anger and petty disappointments from your life. Sprinkle the pure waters of prayer on your soul and prepare afresh for a brand-new day. Go peacefully amidst the noise and the haste. Enjoy the sweetness of everyday things. Practice swayambhu―a word that describes happiness welling out of you, like an underground stream in the mountains.

Very rarely will an event or a person crash-land to disturb your life. We all have a choice to make every moment, through our senses, our thoughts and our actions. We can choose what we want to see, hear, touch, taste and smell, think, feel and do. Most of the time, we are responsible for our decisions―for our happiness and unhappiness. We can decide how we want to feel even in the worst-possible situations. To a jealous mind, an innocent smile is proof of adultery. A prisoner can choose to keep the flame of freedom alive within him and maintain a cheerful disposition. Events or people around us are not under our control. But our reactions, our responses to them are. Respond with love and peace.

Cultivating Happiness

Focus on cultivating happy people and avoid toxic people. Build protective walls against toxic events that threaten your tranquillity.  Too much television is tele-visham—tele-poison.  Too much stimulation, a mindspace crowded by fantasy, people and events, distracts you from working on your own home and backyard to create a healthy self. Some days we seem to live a fantasy life dominated by daydreams while reality tugs at our heartstrings for attention, like a neglected child. There is no use focusing on Aishwarya Bacchan’s beauty while neglecting to do the most basic things to maintain yours.  This is the only body, mind and soul you will be given.  Take care of what is yours and enjoy it.  

Let the cells of your body be gently bathed in happiness, positive thoughts and healing energies. Run from, toxic people and build protective walls against toxic events that threaten your tranquility. The Vedas speak of the self as a beautiful lotus growing in the muddy waters of life. With its roots in the muck it rises above it, in perfect beauty and bliss.