Being Happy is Your Responsibility

‘You have to take responsibility for the changes,’

1. Exercise every day.

2. Make friends with a doctor, preferably a young doctor.

3. Love myself (this is a tough one).

4. Give more affirmations, go slow on discounts.

5. Keep in touch with friends.

6. Play more.

7. Cultivate flow activities.

8. Spend more fun time with family

9. Spend uncluttered time and do interesting things with the kids.

10. Do something new every day.

11. Be a participant in life, not a spectator.

Dharmic Living

Dharma is the law of right living. Unless you live by your own internal standards you can never be happy. When you bend the rules you reduce your chances for true, pure happiness. ‘Flexibility is bending rules without breaking them’, proclaims a smart hoarding, showing a gymnast’s impossible stretch. It all depends on what your internal monitor will allow.

To understand your Dharmic standards, assess yourself by answering to the following questions:

1. Do you judge the moral standards of others?

2. Do you feel any responsibility for the poor, crippled or sick?

3. Are your standards based on what your family practices?

4. Have you made your own decisions about what is honest and right?

5. Are honesty and integrity important to you in your family, with business partners and friends?

6. Do you ever gossip?

7. Do you have a role in seeing that others are protected against unfairness or injustice?

8. Are you concerned with the quality of your family's life?

9. Do you treat others as you want to be treated?

10. Have you fought against injustice to others?

To achieve excellence in the corporate world and still be happy

The Indian tradition shows us that positive, radiant happiness is our birthright. The Happiness quotient (HQ) is a concept that measures approximately, the measure of happiness each person has achieved in his life. The HQ starts by the creation of a positive mindspace, one that nurtures the positive emotions that increase happiness. It is also required to understand the impact of negative fields and how to avoid them.

Events are not under our control, but our perceptions and reactions to them are. Life’s greatest prize – Happiness. Here are some Happiness Mantras:

Happiness Mantras

Happiness Mantra 1: Each new day holds out a chance to create a whole new beginning, a sparkling new field of possibilities.

Happiness Mantra 2: The ecology, the geography of your inner mindspace, is in your hands.

Happiness Mantra 3: 'Swayambhu' is a word that describes happiness welling out of you, like an underground stream in the mountains.

Happiness Mantra 4: Focus on Stress and unhappiness should be turned upside down. Instead of attacking unhappiness, we should plant a garden of happiness, by welcoming the positive emotions into our lives - love, compassion, wonder, courage, laughter and peace.

Happiness Mantra 5: Focusing on our unhappiness by attacking it only helps to magnetize more power and attention to the negative person, event or object that causes it. Hence focus on cultivating happy people and avoid toxic people.

Happiness Mantra 6: When the garden is clean and blooming and full of life, the snakes of anger have no place to hide; the thorns of greed get cleared away. When the clutter of old hatreds is replaced by order, the flowers of friendship bloom. The scorpions of revenge and jealousy slither away and the butterflies of laughter return to celebrate the flowers.

Happiness Mantra 7:  Too much television is ‘Tele-visham’ – (Tele poison). Too much stimulation, a mindspace crowded by fantasy people and events, distracts you from focusing on your own mindspace, your home, your backyard.

Happiness Mantra 8:  Some days we seem to live a fantasy life dominated by day dreams, while reality tugs at our heartstrings for attention, like a neglected child. Take care of what is yours and enjoy it.

Happiness Mantra 9:  Let the cells of your body be gently bathed in happiness, positive thoughts and healing energies.

Happiness Mantra 10: ‘Physical fitness is the most important thing in life. The capacity to attain perfection of mind and soul depends on your physical health. Take care of yourself as no one else can do it for you.’

Listen to Your Body

Physical transformation is possible, if like the ancient yogis, we follow the actions of young animals. The mountain pose in the suryanamaskar is derived from the back stretch of the dog. Watch the young dog. It is always in movement and bouncing and stretching. Make physical movement a part of your daily life. As the salesmen say ‘Cover territory instead of covering your chair’. ‘Use it or lose it’ said Jane Fonda. Violent physical exercise once a week is no use, if you’re just vegetating for the rest of the week in front of the TV or computer. Listen more and bark less, use non verbal actions to show unconditional affection to family and friends.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.

Life is the Guru

In India, the teacher is called a ‘guru’ – he who eliminates the darkness. So this means that whoever teaches, is a guru. There are gurus for every discipline and skill. Since 1962, on September 5^th, India celebrates Teachers day. On that day, the birthday of Sarvapalli  Radhakrishnan, children give their teachers gifts and are even allowed to teach the class, while teachers listen.

We know that learning can be had from various sources. Not only from books and teachers in classrooms but also from the experience of life itself. The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with the wish to teach himself. All of us long for a teacher who gives you something to think about besides home work.

Uddhava is said to have asked his friend Krishna, “Who is a guru?” Krishna points at an eagle in the sky and explains, “That eagle soaring in sky can swoop down to earth in a single instant and pick up its prey.  As far as vision is concerned, that eagle is your guru. Look at the lion in the jungle, how splendid is its gait. As far as physical grace is concerned, that lion is your guru. Those who love you, teach you. Those who hate you, teach you more. Victory is a teacher but failure is a far greater teacher. Everything, every event in your life is sent to teach you. Whether you learn from the great classroom of life, depends on you.”

From teachers we not only learn subjects but also lessons on how to live. We watch our teachers and learn life’s lesson from them: compassion, dignity, courage. A good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others. “The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth," says Dan Rather. Over 100 countries celebrate Teacher’s day once a year. In war torn Afghanistan, students honour their teachers with special food, cookies, music and presents.

Any day is a good day to  write a love letter to all your favourite teachers, including your first teachers – your parents.

“If you want happiness for an hour -- take a nap. If you want happiness for a day -- go fishing. If you want happiness for a month -- get married. If you want happiness for a year -- inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime -- help someone else,” Chinese Proverb

The Season of Hope

Easter Sunday celebrates the themes of hope, regeneration, resurrection and the possibility of eternal life. The day is a joyous one, celebrated with a feast of Easter eggs, coloured red, hearty meals, games and family reunions. The Russian princesses exchanged golden jeweled eggs made by the fabled jeweller Faberge. This day follows 40 days of the Lenten fast.

On a personal level, it reminds us of the cycle of time which moves inexorably from fasting to feasting, from sorrow to happiness, from defeat to victory, from darkness to light and death to eternal life. It is a reminder that neither good times nor bad are permanent. As the Bible puts it, “This too shall pass”.

We can take the Easter message to heart as we dive into a new financial year on 1^st April. Here are some of the lessons:

1. 1.       Everything changes
2. 2.       The kalachakra or wheel of life takes one through the ups and downs of life. Neither lasts. Both are temporary.
3. 3.       Have faith that good things are waiting round the corner. Meanwhile, work hard and hope.
4. 4.       Celebrate the dawn of hope and move forward.
5. 5.       Transformation is awaiting you if you are willing to allow your old self to die. Just like a seed transforms from being a seed, to become a plant and a mighty tree.

So, roll up your sleeves, close your personal and corporate accounts as the March 31^st deadline approaches. Pay creditors. Make up with those with whom you have had conflicts. Reach out to enemies, if any. Thank God for the blessings of the previous year. Get ready for a brand new future – the season of Hope!

See how skillfully March 31^st avoids major holidays like Christmas and New Year. Notice how it takes into account the unpredictable outcome of the February-March crop. Celebrate the past; clear the decks for a bright and prosperous, financial year ahead.

Give Yourself a Hug

Soon you will be looking at March, 31^st the time of financial reckoning and feeling completely drained and knocked out. You are overworked and exhausted and you don’t like the person you see in the mirror. Your doctor does not like the person he sees in your medical reports.

Now turn inward and start a personal affirmation account for yourself.  Give yourself a big hug for being the most hard working, kind and special person in your life. Invest in a note book which will document your love affair with yourself.

v  Write a love letter to yourself. Recognize your unique beauty, your capacity to do your best and all the gifts that make you such a fabulous person. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into place,” said Lucille Ball.

v  Start a gratefulness dairy where you record all the things you are grateful for. Thank God for His blessings.

v  ‘I can,’ is a hundred times more important that IQ. Celebrate your smallest successes. Stop that nagging, critical voice in your head that keeps picking on you. Speak to yourself kindly and lovingly.

v  Stop worrying. The way to be happy is to stop worrying about things which cannot be changed.

v  Plug into the Source of all power, through prayer and meditation and acknowledge that you are a child of God, made in his own image.

v  Explore, dream, discover: at the end of your life do not regret all the dreams you have failed to pursue.

Take care of your body. It is the only home you have: nourish it, nurture it, exercise it. Make friends with a young physician. Focus on it, love it! Have fun! Because as Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

Women’s Day

Mothers, sisters, daughters and other women beloved to us make March 8^th a special day of celebration, a day to show, respect, appreciation and love to women. This day cannot be dismissed like all the other days that make Archies cards such a successful business.

Even before women appeared on the corporate scene, women were the secret, hidden ingredient that made life worth living. So all of us, men and women, should use this day to write letters of appreciation to all the special women in our life, for the beauty they bring into our lives, for their delicat,e subtle strength and grace under pressure, for their tact and capacity to love, care and selflessly give, till there is nothing left to give. Thirty countries observe it as a National holiday. It is a day to celebrate beauty and motherhood! In Portugal a ‘Girls night out’ is customary.

It is a day for us women to enjoy the fact that we are beautifully different from men. Our brain’s communication centre is much bigger. We love to discuss our problems, we are biologically wired to avoid conflict, we care more about character and the capacity to care, than about good looks. We are better at reading between the lines. In short our EQ (Emotional Quotient) is better. Vive la difference!

Enhance Family Attachment

The family provides the love and nurturing required for the survival of children. Affirmation is important when people in our lives appreciate us and express it verbally, tonally, non-verbally. It is important to make sure you give affirmations to all members of the family, particularly the ones to whom you usually send devastating Heat Seeking Missiles (HSMs) like, ‘Why is your room like a pig sty?’ ‘Why do you always forget everything I tell you?’ Make every day an occasion to show how important your family is to you.

Children need the security of a simple, dependable schedule. Ambiguity or lack of dependability in family life is known to affect the individual’s capacity to live in a secure long-term relationship in the future. Be a mindful parent. So parents need to devote time on quality food and lifestyle. 

Know Your Potential

The mind is the only place where you can examine a germinal, fragile new idea, stretch it without breaking it or explore an explosive new idea without having it blow up your face. Use thinking tools and imaging to analyse, reinvent and recreate life as it is today.

You are a powerhouse of potential. The great Michelangelo was once asked how he created great statues. Old and half blind, Michelangelo stood before a block of marble, scarred and muddy from the quarries of Carrara. He said quietly, ‘I have never created a statue. I just stand before a block of marble and study it with reverence. For I, know that within every block of marble, there lies a statue, waiting to be liberated by the touch of the Master’s hand.’

Within each one of us lies hidden masterpiece waiting to be liberated by the magic touch of attention. Only you can do it. Be your own ‘expert’. Do not build negative ideas about yourself through the comments of others. Your self-talk should be calm, happy and elevating. Choose to see and hear what is beautiful and encouraging. When you are wounded, learn to soothe yourself by using these affirmations.

Positive self-talk

A high-tolerance level when faced with frustration is due to the capacity to motivate oneself. Motivate

yourself to heal. Young Siddhartha, the eponymous hero in Herman Hesse’s book, is asked by his prospective employer, Kumaraswamy, ‘What  do you know that I should give you a job?’ Siddartha answers, ‘I can wait, I can fast, I can pray.’ He gets the job and achieves

excellence in it. 

With affection and compassion, we can make our field a happy one by spreading like a fragrance to embrace all those around us. Everyone has only two choices—life-enhancing and life destroying. An event is not as critical as is your reaction or perception of it. It continues its life inside you, a nuclear landmine of memories that wreak far more destruction than the actual event. The more mind space you allocate to unhappy memories, the more time you spend in the past while being a spectator in the living present, the more you miss the joy the present moment offers.

We need to change the way we talk to and treat ourselves. All of us need a tender, loving caretaker within who nurtures us, not an internal drillmaster who victimizes us in an insulting and disparaging tone, sucking out all our energy, enthusiasm and happiness. Positive self-talk helps in such situations. Be prepared to sacrifice, to wait and do not rush to gratify every desire. Continue with your life’s work and you will be healed.

How to Deal With Loss

How to handle failure, loss, death—how to solve problems in the great textbook of life? There is no use solving problems in other people’s books. Concentrate on passing your own exams. Your life provides you with a chance to achieve the highest in yourself, by using pain as stepping-stones to enlightenment.

No one can avoid bad times, but you can ensure that you look at this time as a time for growth and learning. When the mind numbing pain that immediately follows loss has subsided, you can take proactive steps to provide emergency attention to heal your body, mind and spirit.

Pour music into your soul. Touch people who love you. Explore new places. Reach into great books and study alternate futures. Pamper yourself and ask your loved ones for hugs. Meditate. Be silent. Plug into the universe. Let go. Let God catch you. Your sankalpa or intention must be pure. Be clear about your goal. Be non-judgemental. Love and seek to understand with tenderness. Learn and immerse yourself in knowledge. Learn all you can about your chosen field from books, internet, from people, competitors. Remain focused. Never give up. Never,  ever.Help others, motivate them! Let others achieve their targets. Say no to negative people and emotions. Everything life offers is prasad—blessed by the gods. Good and bad experiences, people who love you and those who hate you, are all sent here to teach you. Go on to achieve your highest potential. Look for the highest in others. Know your purpose on earth, the

highest that God created you to become Question injustice. Stand up for those who cannot fight, speak for those who have no voice. Speak gently and with love. Receive this prasad, compliments, gifts and encouragement with grace. 

Necessary Steps to Increase Personal Happiness

·         The world is in your drawing room, it is clamouring to change your life with more and more sophisticated toys. As a popular saying goes, ‘What separates the men from the boys is just the price of their toys.’ Simplify and go home to what you really need.

·         The world is like a buffet counter at a five-star hotel. Let’s not grab everything on our plates. Let us be choosy, so that we may avoid spiritual indigestion and physical exhaustion.

·         Let us replace stress with positive emotions that engender joy. Let us increase our Happiness Quotient (HQ).

·         Finding a job you love is one of the ways you can immunize yourself against heart problems.

·         A good marriage is a protective shield against heart attacks. 

·         Merely avoiding negative emotions is not enough; one should consistently cultivate the positive emotions of love, compassion, courage and peace.

Indigenous Health-Care Systems

The indigenous health-care system is commensurate with the traditional habits, lifestyle and value systems of a particular culture from where it has evolved. It cannot be effective if there is a radical change in the habits of that culture. This ‘patient–system– mismatch’ is very evident in the case of westernized American Indians who have lost their traditional healing capacities. On the contrary, the Keralites, for example, in spite of coming into contact with western culture, do not endorse its systems, and hold on to their own traditions. Perhaps that is why their age-old habit of using a high cholesterol diet has not resulted in an increased incidence of heart disease. The indigenous systems of medicine continue to have a stronghold in Kerala. All health-care systems, including modern medicine, are in agreement today over the issue that a patient’s psychological state has much to do with the healing process. Minor activities like taking part in a satsang, singing a tune you enjoy, and dancing for fun to your child’s delight can make you feel contented and allow the good chemicals flow.

‘The chief role of the doctor is, by various means, to induce the body to recover its trust in the Supreme Grace,’ said the Mother from Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, decades ago. The contact of the patient with the physician is only an occasion to awaken him to the touch of the healer within.