Build Family Bonding

‘The family is the shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ wrote Alvin Toffler in his classic ‘Future Shock’. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus.

It is our mission to restore the family to its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, gives support, and manages the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working couples.

Dharmic Living

Anything that helps human being to reach God is dharma and anything that hinders human being from reaching God is adharma. According to the Bhagavat Purana, righteous living or life on a dharmic path has four aspects: austerity (tap), purity (shauch), compassion (daya) and truthfulness (satya); and adharmic or unrighteous life has three vices: pride (ahankar), contact (sangh), and intoxication (madya). The essence of dharma lies in possessing a certain ability, power and spiritual strength. The strength of being dharmic also lies in the unique combination of spiritual brilliance and physical prowess.

The purpose of dharma is not only to attain a union of the soul with the supreme reality, it also suggests a code of conduct that is intended to secure both worldly joys and supreme happiness. The practice of dharma gives an experience of peace, joy, strength and tranquillity within one's self and makes life disciplined.

The main difference between human and other lower forms of life is that man alone can lead a dharmic life (righteous life) and is fully capable of it. All life is divine. The divinity of life manifests as the ever nourishing fragrance of peace. In fact peace always exists in the cavern of one’s heart as awareness or being. But it manifests externally only on leading a righteous life. Righteous life is synonymous with peaceful life. Dharmic life is synonymous with divine life or surrender to God.

Parameters for Physical Wellness

Physical transformation is possible, if like the ancient yogis, we follow the actions of young animals. The mountain pose in the suryanamaskar is derived from the back stretch of the dog. Watch the young dog. It is always in movement and bouncing and stretching. Make physical movement a part of your daily life. As the salesmen say ‘Cover territory instead of covering your chair’. ‘Use it or lose it’ said Jane Fonda. Violent physical exercise once a week is no use, if you’re just vegetating for the rest of the week in front of the TV or computer. Listen more and bark less, use non verbal actions to show unconditional affection to family and friends.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.

Create Laughter Breaks

Laughter increases the levels of endorphins in our bodies, which are natural pain-killers. Norman Cousins, an American journalist who wrote “Anatomy of an Illness” was suffering from an incurable disease. Laughter therapy helped him when no pain-killer could. Endorphins released as a result of laughter may help in reducing the intensity of pain in those suffering from arthritis, spondylitis and muscular spasms of the body. Many women have also reported a reduced frequency of migraine and tension headaches. Norman Cousins recovered from what is usually a fatal disease

He who laughs frequently is less likely to suffer from heart attacks. ‘A light answer turneth away wrath,’ says a proverb. An anger hijack can be stopped by a joke. Laughter is certainly the best medicine. You can be happy by taking regular laughter breaks. There are a number of causes for high blood pressure and heart disease like heredity, obesity, smoking and excessive intake of saturated fats. But stress is one of the main factors. Laughter definitely helps control blood pressure by reducing the release of stress-related hormones and bringing relaxation.

The Ideal Householder

The ideal householder leads on earth a consecrated life, not unmindful of any duty to the living, or to the departed. His wife, the glory of his house, is modest and frugal, adores her husband, guards herself, and is the guardian of his house’s fame. His children are his choicest treasures; their babbling voices are his music; he feasts with the Gods when he eats the rice their tiny fingers have played with; and his one aim is to make them worthier than himself. Affection is the very life of his soul, of all his virtues the first and greatest. The sum and source of them all is love. His house is open to every guest, whom he welcomes with a smiling face and a pleasant word, and with whom he shares his meal, courteous in speech grateful for every kindness, just in all his dealings, master of himself in perfect self-control, strict in the performance of every assigned duty, pure, patient and forbearing with a heart free from envy, moderate in desires, speaking no evil of others, refraining from unprofitable words, dreading the touch of evil diligent in the discharge of all the duties of his position, and liberal in his benefaction, he is one whom all unite to praise. 

Need of Family Network

Today, however, the family, as the ‘shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ in the words of Alvin Toffler in his landmark work Future Shock, is going through a transitional phase. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a  loosening of extended family relationships. The powerful mother-in-law of the joint family is emerging as the subdued caretaker of children, helping the educated daughter-in-law augment the double income of all upwardly mobile young couples. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus. Much like the modern  corporation, there is no place to hide, no place for passengers, and everyone has to pull their own weight. It is our mission to restore to it its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, albeit in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, give support, and manage the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working mothers.

Meditation

Meditation is the broom that sweeps out the negative emotions and pours the honey of tranquillity into the mind. There are many forms of meditation. Here are some examples: Each of our senses provides us with new adventures and helps us live more fully. Often, however, our senses are scrambled or numbed by the hurry of life. Opening-up meditation gives us a heightened awareness of our senses. Explore each one of your senses and experience their immense potential for joy. The purpose of this meditation is to relax the physical body and the mind.

This exercise of sense-opening can be performed with any object, and while taking a walk in the park, in the house, or at your workplace. For the purpose of the example here we will use an apple. Practise this meditation for ten minutes. Some actions are performed simultaneously, but focus on one sense at a time.

1. See: Take an apple and closely examine its outer skin—its colour variations and texture. Peel it and inspect the edge of the peel. Look at the inside of the peel. Cut the apple into wedges and look closely at them. Break open a wedge and examine the heart of the apple—the tiny seeds and the wooden core. It is even permissible to use a magnifying glass.

2. Hear: Squeeze the apple. Is there a sound? As you peel it, listen. Bend the peel and listen to the sounds. What sound is it? Close your eyes and break a wedge in half. What sound is there? Rub your fingers along the outside of the peel. Is there a sound? Rub your fingers along the inside of the peel. What difference is there?

3. Touch: Close your eyes and rub your fingers along the outside of an unpeeled apple. Feel the texture. Rub your hands all over the apple. Spend five minutes examining the apple with your fingers before peeling it. Peel it slowly, feeling each piece. Break the apple into wedges and explore each wedge. Feel the inside of the peel. Examine the edges.

4. Taste: Close your eyes and place a wedge of the apple in your mouth. Bite slowly into the wedge. Bite a piece of the peel. Taste the pulp. How many different tastes are there in an apple?

5. Smell: Sniff an unpeeled apple. Peel it and smell the inside of the peel. Smell a wedge. Bend the peel and smell the acid as it explodes from the peel. Smell the pulp. Smell a squeezed wedge. How many different smells are there in an apple?

By extending the senses one forgets about present problems and is able to relax. By allowing in more than the ordinary amount of information from a single sense, other thoughts are blocked. That is why it is called meditation. It must be patently apparent that if one can extend the senses to examine an apple, those senses can be used in an even more extensive way during a walk in the park, or on a city road, on the way to work, or during lunch. It is a handy, quick and efficient way to meditate. It will even work with an apple!