The International Family day

The International family day is on 15th May. As the world becomes more and more self centered, and people shift to a more solitary and independent way of life, it is a way to remember the most important bond in human society. It is the family that is holding and protecting the human society through the ups and downs of the human life cycle This day highlights the importance of this relationship which is the birth right of all. It also focuses on important issues that can strengthen it – equality, sharing of domestic responsibilities and work life balance. The family is the most important institution that has existed from the beginning of human society. The family today has undergone many changes, but it is usually made up of married adults, and their children, living together and enjoying economic co-operation. Here are some steps we can take to strengthen the family unit. • Enhance the bonds of mutual affection and goodwill by organizing annual get-together, pujas, prayers and religious festivals like Diwali, Eid, Bakrid, Good Friday, X’mas, Mahavir Jayanthi, Guru Nanak Jayanti, etc and also other festivals like Pongal, Onam, Baisakhi, Ugadi, Holi, etc. • Ensure that caring adults in the family shape the lives of children during the first three years which are spent at home. Elders should help young parents to accomplish this, especially if both parents are working • Enjoy and celebrate successes in the family digitally. Comfort each other through loss and failure. • Ensure ‘family time’, good work-life balance and proper sharing of work at home. • Celebrate the contribution of care, wisdom and love of elders to the family. Teach respect for them, from youngsters, by setting an example in your behavior towards your elders. The family is the most permanent institution in human society. Make sure that it remains strong and stable for the well being of future generations and Mankind.

Proactive Change

The results of transformative change are all around us this summer. Sunflower plants busting out from seeds where they have slept tightly curled, butterflies leaving behind their worn out cocoons, flowers dressing up the bare limbs of trees. This time as the financial year begins, it is the time for proactive change. Change is the only certainty in an uncertain world. This year you will change, merely because everything around you will change. What you can decide is, whether you will lead the change or become a victim of it. Think about proactively changing things in the following areas of your life. 1. Personal 2. Family 3. Professional 4. Social Things will change anyway. Make sure they change in the way you want. And remember a butterfly is not an improved caterpillar. Just as a sunflower is not an improved seed.

Give Yourself a Hug

Soon you will be looking at March, 31st the time of financial reckoning and feeling completely drained and knocked out. You are overworked and exhausted and you don’t like the person you see in the mirror. Your doctor does not like the person he sees in your medical reports. Now turn inward and start a personal affirmation account for yourself. Give yourself a big hug for being the most hard working, kind and special person in your life. Invest in a note book which will document your love affair with yourself.  Write a love letter to yourself. Recognize your unique beauty, your capacity to do your best and all the gifts that make you such a fabulous person. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into place,” said Lucille Ball.  Start a gratefulness dairy where you record all the things you are grateful for. Thank God for His blessings.  ‘I can,’ is a hundred times more important that IQ. Celebrate your smallest successes. Stop that nagging, critical voice in your head that keeps picking on you. Speak to yourself kindly and lovingly.  Stop worrying. The way to be happy is to stop worrying about things which cannot be changed.  Plug into the Source of all power, through prayer and meditation and acknowledge that you are a child of God, made in his own image.  Explore, dream, discover: at the end of your life do not regret all the dreams you have failed to pursue. Take care of your body. It is the only home you have: nourish it, nurture it, exercise it. Make friends with a young physician. Focus on it, love it! Have fun! Because as Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

Creating Joy in Family Life

Today everyone has a chance to maintain links with the extended family through the internet. It is a nourishing and often supportive network. Today, however, the family, as the ‘shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ in the words of Alvin Toffler in his landmark work Future Shock, is going through a transitional phase. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The powerful mother-in-law of the joint family is emerging as the subdued caretaker of children, helping the educated daughter-in-law augment the double income of all upwardly mobile young couples. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus. Much like the modern corporation, there is no place to hide, no place for passengers, and everyone has to pull their own weight. It is our mission to restore to it its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, albeit in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world. Someone who is not too busy to listen, give support, and manage the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends is the key for working mothers.

Steps for Personal Health

1. Take care of your health. You cannot deliver a prize-winning performance with a broken-down body. 2. Force the world to look at issues like: What kind of world are we leaving for our children? Where have leisure, poetry and caring been banished? Why has the door been shut on the smiles and joy of our children? Why do we have no time for our friends or small acts of kindness? Why are deadlines so terrible that they extract death as the price? None of us would mind dying for great causes, but to die for a power-point presentation, seems slightly frivolous. 3. Do not get stereotyped into how others see your role: as a mother or an all forgiving rescuer in the workplace. Encourage men to discover their so-called feminine qualities of sensitivity and caring. Do not stereotype men! 4. Affirm women who are role models instead of trying to find chinks in their armour. Network with them. There is a queen-bee complex, which causes successful women managers to surround themselves with male managers and discourage the entry of women. Identify this and speak up when required.

Proactive Change

The results of transformative change are all around us this summer. Sunflower plants busting out from seeds where they have slept tightly curled, butterflies leaving behind their worn out cocoons, flowers dressing up the bare limbs of trees. This time as the financial year begins it is the time for the 3Rs rest, relaxation and rejuvenation of proactive change. Change is the only certainty in an uncertain world. This year you will change merely because everything around you will change. What you can decide is whether you will lead the change or become a victim of it. Think about proactively changing things in the following areas of your life. 1. Personal 2. Family 3. Professional 4. Social Personal: Create goals that will improve your skills and build on your strengths. Tap into the passion that you have kept tightly leashed because you had no time. Did you always want to learn to play the guitar? Sign up now. Was Bollywood dancing what lights your fire? Do it. Sign up for a distance learning programme. Family: Ask your family members to suggest change each of them would like. Try to see if it can be done. Don’t be a casualty of the corporate rat race. Professional: Have a chat with your team mates. Volunteer for a tough blue sky job. Create a daily ‘huddle’ in your workplace so that everyone can meet and talk for a few minutes every morning. Make sure everyone participates. Work on making it a fun place. Social: Create a face book page for your family and friends. Keep in touch, share pictures, keep them informed and interested and involved in an interesting activity: a get-together for all your friends, an annual family reunion, a pot luck meet and eat for all your neighbours. Things will change anyway. Make sure they change in the way you want. And remember a butterfly is not an improved caterpillar. Just as a sunflower is not an improved seed.  

Physical Wellness

Health is the foundation for a feeling of well being and joy. It is very difficult to be full of enthusiasm if you are not in a state of positive health. The absence of disease is no indication of this state of perfect health. It is only a hygiene factor for improving your Happiness Quotient. Just as you would not tolerate a minor malfunctioning in your car, so too, you and your doctor should be vigilant for the slightest disturbance in your state of health. Minor problems, aches and pains should be dealt with immediately, rather than be endured with gritted teeth. Listen to your body. If you are tried, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.