The Five Senses and Happiness

            1. The smell of incense and home-food cooking.

            2. The taste of love and attention.

            3. The look of a newly swept yard with a kolam (design on the ground                    done created with rice flour)

            4. The touch of freshly washed and ironed bed sheets.

            5. The sound of contentment after a good

meal.

Be Innovative

Most working couples say `I wish I had more time at home’. If they cannot go home, can their homes come to them? A classic turn it upside down thinking tool. Can kids meet parents for a picnic or lunch at the office? Can couples plan business travel together? Can the office incorporate a Saturday kids’ day into its schedule to improve participation from the family. An open house for kids to see the world their parents inhabit. In the family, creating a positive field, full of the positive emotion is critical.

Family- A Shock Abosrber

The breaking down of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The powerful mother­in­law of the joint family is emerging as the subdued caretaker of children, helping the educated daughter­in­law to augment the double income of all upwardly mobile young couples. The large, amorphous, supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people, physically and otherwise challenged, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus. Where there is no place to hide—much like the modern corporation, where there is no place for passengers, everyone has to pull his weight.

There should be one person who can be a shock absorber in the family. Someone who is not too busy to listen, to support, to manage the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or a cook. Networking is the key for working mothers. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and friends.

Importance of Family

The family provides the love and nurturing required for the survival of children. As we grow older, we crave nurturing, but are not adept at asking for it. We long for affirmation from the ‘significant other’ in our lives.

Affirmation is when important people in our lives say, ‘What I really like about you is ...’ They say it verbally, tonally, non­verbally. The opposite of an affirmation is a discount. You need at least ten affirmations for every discount for the maintenance of a healthy relationship. A home filled with discounts becomes a torture chamber instead of a sanctuary. Dr Dean Ornish says that men who feel that their wives love them are much more likely to reverse heart disease, than those who feel the opposite. The home can be the cause for disease. It can also be the safe sanctuary for healing and reversal of disease. Fill your home with affirmations, with positive strokes, with a peaceful atmosphere, a nurturing space that enhances prana, the life force. Laughter and smiles, compliments and hugs can create a powerful positive field in the home.

‘Family is the shock absorber of society, to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ wrote Alvin Toffler in his landmark work ‘Future Shock’. The family provides unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless. It heals the pain of failure and provides rest from the assaults of a cruel competitive world. Family dynamics can cause disease or reverse it.

Enhance your Potential

You are a powerhouse of potential. The great Michelangelo was once asked how he created great statues. Old and half blind, Michelangelo stood before a block of marble, scarred and muddy from the quarries of Carrara. He said quietly, ‘I have never created a statue. I just stand before a block of marble and study it with reverence. For I know that within every block of marble, there lies a statue, waiting to be liberated by the touch of the Master’s hand.’ Within each of us lies hidden a masterpiece waiting to be liberated by the magic touch of attention. Only you can do it.

Be your own ‘expert’. Do not build negative ideas about yourself through the comments of others. Your self-talk should be calm, happy and elevating. Choose to see and hear what is beautiful and encouraging. When you are wounded, learn to soothe yourself by using these affirmations.

(Sit with eyes closed and silently affirm)

By nature I am kind, gentle and loving.

Any mistake committed is unintentional and I forgive myself and others for it.

God’s grace has created a magic circle of love, a safe haven for me and my loved ones.

I am capable of achieving my goals with hard work and dedication.

I look around me for help and knowledge to reach my goals.

I seek companions who encourage and help me.

Overcome Stress

The world is in your drawing room, it is clamouring to change your life with more and more sophisticated toys. As a popular jingle goes, 'What separates the men from the boys is just the price of their toys.’ Simplify and go home to what you really need.

The world is like a buffet counter at a five-star hotel. Let's not grab everything on our plates. Let us be choosy, so that we may avoid spiritual indigestion and physical exhaustion.

Let us replace stress with positive emotions that engender joy. Let us increase our HQ.

‘I felt like a waterfall,’ said Diane Roffe–Stainrotter, gold medallist skier in the 1994 winter Olympics. The joy of a job perfectly executed, fills the body with the chemicals of bliss.

Professor Mihalyi Csikzent speaks about a state called the flow, which athletes, musicians, surgeons—in fact everyone experiences when they are at their best. It is the experience of doing your job with total immersion in it. So absorbed are you, that there is no place for anxiety or niggling worries.

Finding a job you love is one of the ways you can immunise yourself against health problems. A good marriage is a protective shield against heart attacks.

The capacity to enjoy the free gifts of Nature—sunlight, rain or flowers starts the flow of the chemicals of bliss. It is in this gentle chemical bath that the body is able to replace dying and dead tissues. Merely avoiding negative emotions is not enough; one should consistently cultivate the positive emotions: love, compassion, courage and peace.

  

Stress is the epidemic of the new millennium. Protect yourself.

Meditation

The only way to break this pattern is to find a way to change the response to tough situations. There is of course no way to make the situations less tough. Meditation and pranayama, provide everyone with a way of reducing the automatic, violent reactions to stress. You can actually control autonomous systems like heart beat and pulse rate, which were thought to be outside the individual’s control. Knowing and practicing meditation can provide you with a silent space where you can retreat into peace: slow breathing, steady heartbeat, low pulse. This space is always available within a person who has learnt to meditate. While you cannot change your job, family or your life situation, you can certainly learn to breathe more peacefully, thus reversing the process of excitation and avoiding the emotional hijack. It is not possible to learn meditation by thinking about it, any more than it is possible to learn swimming by talking about it. If you have to swim, you have to get into the water. Learning mediation and understanding your breathing patterns through pranayama may be the best investment you ever made. In India, there is no excuse not to learn these things. Stress need not be a response to the pace of your life. You can learn a peaceful response that protects your body.