Why Regret?

Imagine a buttoned down, French stock broker, suddenly flying off to the South Sea Islands and becoming a famous painter. Paul Gauguin a Post Impressionist painter, who influenced many modern artists such as Pablo Picasso and Henri Matisse is an unusual case of having achieved his dreams in mid career. I am sure he died without regrets. It’s never late to follow your dreams. If only, or it might have been…. are the saddest words in the English language.

Most people, on their death beds do not regret what they have done. Most regrets are about all the things they have not done. So it is important to do all the things you want to do, by preparing a to-do list. This is a human privilege, because humans are the only living creatures who are able to plan for the future.

The best way to be happy is, of course to live intensely in the present. That is why it is called a gift or a present. Plan at least 6 ‘happiness breaks’ every day. Because research shows that it is many small, minute-to-minute happiness creating activities, that lead to a happy life rather than the one big, award or achievement.

Recharge Yourself Regularly

1. Take short relaxation breaks, at least thrice a day.

2. Eat fresh, energy-giving foods.

3. Take a walk outdoors during lunch break.

4. Stay away from politics and back-biting.

5. Involve your spouse and children in your work. Bring them to the office during lunch break or on a Saturday.

6. Spend time reading and improving your mind.

7. Get involved in activities that will benefit others.

8. Develop an absorbing hobby or skill—driving, dancing, gardening, carpentry, painting, amateur radio, etc.

9. Keep in touch with your close friends and extended family; use the power of the internet.

10. Plan to cut off from work on weekends.

Create a positive field around yourself, your home and office

·         A mental process which draws a magic circle of love around all those who are participating.

·         A prayer or mantra said together.

·         A common exercise, a company song, common goals.

·         A handshake, a friendly look, an encouraging word.

·         Thinking, believing and acting in a positive manner.

·         Laughter and shared jokes.

Asanas for Healthy and Happy Life

Padmasana (Lotus Pose). This pose destroys all disease and brings peace of mind to those who suffer from anxiety, tension, anger and other negative emotions.

Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand). Also known as the mother of asanas, this asana stimulates every part of the body and helps transport oxygen-rich blood to the heart.

Matsyasana (Fish Pose). This asana expands the chest and tones the nerves of the neck and back. It also ensures maximum benefit to the thyroid and parathyroid glands.

Dhanurasana (Bow Pose). An excellent asana for the spine, it strengthens the hips and takes care of spondylitis. The expansion of the chest increases blood circulation in the heart muscles.

Savasana (Shanti Asana). This is a powerful practice for relaxing the body and releasing mental and physical tension. Techniques like self-hypnosis or kaya kriya can be applied here to provide relief from anxiety and insomnia. Persons who have are sad and disturbed are greatly benefited by this asana.

Yoga Nidra (Yogic Sleep). A state of conscious deep sleep for extreme relaxation and subtler spiritual exploration.

Silence. Practice silence. Let thoughts pass like birds in the sky. Let the mind sink to its bedrock of silence. As the Zen Buddhists say, ‘The mind is a drunken monkey that is bitten by a scorpion.’ Allow it to relax into silence.

Creating Joy in Family Life

Today everyone has a chance to maintain links with the extended family through the internet. It is a nourishing and often supportive network. Today, however, the family, as the ‘shock absorber of society,

to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world,’ in the words of Alvin Toffler in his landmark work Future Shock, is going through a transitional phase. The breakdown of the joint family has led to a loosening of extended family relationships. The powerful mother-in-law of

the joint family is emerging as the subdued caretaker of children, helping the educated daughter-in-law augment the double income of all upwardly mobile young couples. The large, amorphous,

supportive joint family that supported a wide variety of people and bestowed unconditional love for the crippled, the old and the helpless, has been reduced to the nuclear family where everyone is in sharp focus. Much like the modern corporation, there is no place to hide, no place for passengers, and everyone has to pull their own weight.

It is our mission to restore to it its traditional role as a place of rest and healing, albeit in a new paradigm. There should be one person in the family who can cushion the blows of the outside world.

Someone who is not too busy to listen, give support, and manage the daily tasks of living. This could even be a paid caregiver or cook. Networking with parents, in-laws, neighbours, domestic help and

friends is the key for working mothers.

Steps for Personal Health

1.       Take care of your health. You cannot deliver a prize-winning performance with a broken-down body.

2.       Force the world to look at issues like: What kind of world are we leaving for our children? Where have leisure, poetry and caring been banished? Why has the door been shut on the smiles and joy of our children? Why do we have no time for our friends or small acts of kindness? Why are deadlines so terrible that they extract death as the price? None of us would mind dying for great causes, but to die for a power-point presentation, seems slightly frivolous.

3.       Do not get stereotyped into how others see your role: as a mother or an all forgiving rescuer in the workplace. Encourage men to discover their so-called feminine qualities of sensitivity and caring. Do not stereotype men!

4.       Affirm women who are role models instead of trying to find chinks in their armour. Network with them. There is a queen-bee complex, which causes successful women managers to surround themselves with male managers and discourage the entry of women. Identify this and speak up when required.

Proactive Change

The results of transformative change are all around us this summer. Sunflower plants busting out from seeds where they have slept tightly curled, butterflies leaving behind their worn out cocoons, flowers dressing up the bare limbs of trees. This time as the financial year begins it is the time for the 3Rs rest, relaxation and rejuvenation of proactive change.

Change is the only certainty in an uncertain world. This year you will change merely because everything around you will change. What you can decide is whether you will lead the change or become a victim of it.

Think about proactively changing things in the following areas of your life.

1.       Personal

2.       Family

3.       Professional

4.       Social

Personal: Create goals that will improve your skills and build on your strengths. Tap into the passion that you have kept tightly leashed because you had no time. Did you always want to learn to play the guitar? Sign up now. Was Bollywood dancing what lights your fire? Do it. Sign up for a distance learning programme.

Family: Ask your family members to suggest change each of them would like. Try to see if it can be done. Don’t be a casualty of the corporate rat race.

Professional: Have a chat with your team mates. Volunteer for a tough blue sky job. Create a daily ‘huddle’ in your workplace so that everyone can meet and talk for a few minutes every morning. Make sure everyone participates. Work on making it a fun place.

Social: Create a face book page for your family and friends. Keep in touch, share pictures, keep them informed and interested and involved in an interesting activity: a get-together for all your friends, an annual family reunion, a pot luck meet and eat for all your neighbours.

Things will change anyway. Make sure they change in the way you want. And remember a butterfly is not an improved caterpillar. Just as a sunflower is not an improved seed.