Social Bonding

No man is an island, but a part of the Main,’ said the pensive poet John Donne.  Man is a social being, and interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand other people.  It is to be able to see what motivates them, how they work and how to work cooperatively with them.  Interpersonal intelligence is the inward sense of being able to understand oneself, to form an accurate model of oneself and to operate that model effectively to live life.  Professor Howard Gardner of the Harvard School of Psychology told me that the two aspects of personal intelligence, interpersonal and intrapersonal, form the most important foundation for a happy, fulfilling life.  To those who define success as happiness, these two elements can be the bedrock of a happy life.

Sensitive people can empathize with others.  They can understand the feelings of others as though they were feeling it themselves.  This skill involves being able to pick up subtle verbal, tonal and non–verbal signals from others.  Charismatic leaders are able to reach others by breaking the barrier that exists between people.  A charismatic speaker can make thousands of people react like one mind.

The Upanishads say that the divine spark or life force exists in all—the leader, the leper, the judge and the criminal.

The concept of a life force is recognised in all cultures. It is called Chi by the Chinese; Light, or Holy Ghost, by Christians; Prana by the Hindus; Mana by the Kahunas and; Bioplasmic Energy by Russians researchers.

Learn to Deal with Others and their Feelings

A drug addict once explained the difference between sympathy and empathy. He said, ‘You can never feel anything but sympathy for me and what I need is empathy.’ The he said, ‘Empathy is the capacity to feel my pain in your heart.’ To be ‘socially tone deaf’ * can lead to a life littered with broken relationships. Develop the capacity to pick up subtle verbal, tonal and non-verbal signals from others. Learn also the ability to send out soothing, nurturing signals to others, thus creating a positive interpersonal field.

Unlike in a magnetic field, where positive attracts negative and vice versa, a positive, emotional and spiritual field, attracts positive people and events and, in addition, transforms even a normally negative person into a positive one.

‘How can I develop this skill?’ I ask. ‘Practice working with people and listening to them with the same attitude as you would towards a beloved child, or respected parent. Your word, tone, your very glance should be completely focused on the person. Don’t dilute the interaction by playing with your Blackberry, talking on your cellphone or fiddling with your laptop. When you are with someone, pay complete attention. Anything less will only elicit a lukewarm response. Those who can create positive fields around themselves attract and build lifetime relationships.’  

Healthy home nurturing positive mindspace

A healthy home would be a healing space, a nurturing positive mind field. It can be a place where all wounds are healed. Alvin Toffler wrote ‘The family is the giant shock absorber of the family to which the bruised and battered individual returns after doing battle with the world!’ If your home is not a sanctuary but a battle-field do something about it. Get help, maybe professional help. Reserve time for laughter and happiness—schedule time for it, like you do for your work.

Have a rule to avoid difficult topics during meal times or bed time. Music, if is soothing, can be a powerful force for peace. The very walls absorb the vibrations of the music. Mantras can do the same for your home. I sometimes feel that if music can be infused into the mindspace so that it plays quietly in your mind, as the background to your day, it can have a really soothing affect. Avoid violent, depressing programs. Just as you would not allow a terrorist into your home, do not allow such programs into the sacred space of your home. You surely are the protector of the field that exists in your home. Make your home fragrant with incense. Clean and sparkling and beautiful. Respectful of the sacred forces that can animate your home.

Smile with happiness.

Here are some reasons to smile and make others smile:

• Smiling Makes Us Attractive
• Smiling Changes Our Mood
• Smiling Is Contagious
• Smiling Relieves Stress
• Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
• Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
• Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
• Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
• Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
• Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

The Economics of water degradation

The south Indian town of Tirupur is probably one of the richest towns in the world, producing tee shirts and other garments. The dyestuff from manufacturing soaked into the earth, so that all the water turned to the colour of dyes. Few of us are aware of how waste affects our precious, finite water resources. Water cleans and purifies. But water itself can be so polluted that it can become a pollutant or a poison instead of being the world’s best cleanser and drink.

The river passively accepts any garbage when people dump their daily waste into the river; the chemical composition of the water itself is changed. Animals, aquatic creatures, birds and people are harmed by drinking such water. Untreated sewage from cities enters many water bodies. Here micro organisms begin to decompose organic matter like vegetable and household waste. A lot of oxygen is consumed by micro organisms in this process. As oxygen level fall, many types of fish and other aquatic life die. As oxygen levels touch zero, the water becomes septic and foul smelling. Our cities need to recycle sewage before it leaches into rivers.

As in the case of industries like the leather industry, hazardous chemicals leach into the soil and become part of growing plants and crops. Imagine the effect of eating the food from these places. The sad part of this story is, that it is all invisible. When pure rain falls on garbage, it is dissolved and ground water and soil become poisoned.

The economics of water degradation are obvious. Cities that invest in proper recycling and waste control, create jobs in these areas. They also attract prosperous people to live there. Pollutants can also seep down and affect the ground water deposits. City sewage is treated correctly in India only in 10% of the cases. Industrial waste flowing into rivers, is what makes it so tough to clean holy rivers like Ganges. Agriculture chemicals – fertilizers and pesticides find their way through water into rivers and finally into our homes.

Efficient water management, composting and waste control, has to start in homes. Each of us makes a difference!

Regards,

Dr. Rekha Shetty

Water Warrior

Give Generously, Live Abundantly

Laila Alva, a fifth grader sent US$ 20 to RBI Governor Rajan during the September foreign reserves crisis . “I saved this on my last trip abroad with my parents. I thought I could use it but the country needs it more than I do!” she wrote. The Governor, while appreciating her gesture, promised better times.

This attitude of giving and sharing can have viral impact on the community. During, the season of harvests, Apostle Paul says whoever sows generously will also reap generously.  Giving he says, “Should be cheerful and not motivated by guilt”. He says that if we sow generously we will reap the ultimate blessings - a bumper crop of righteousness!

So what can you give this year?

·         You can give your time – the most precious of human assets. Give time to those who need it: lonely people who have lost hope, and are troubled.

·         Give your talent, whether it is playing cricket or music or dance, teach it to youngsters, educate a child out of school.

·         Give your ideas and thoughts to create clean, green streets.

·         Give your treasure, your money, to the extent you can, help others to develop skills.

Giving generously is a blissful, joyful activity. “Give others all that is alive in us – our interest, understanding, knowledge, humor, everything in us that’s good. In doing so, we enhance the sense of aliveness in others while enhancing our own. When we give, we get a “heightened vitality” of what it means to be human.” – Erich Fromm

Give laughter, smiles, blood, a gift, an invitation, share a meal, offer good advice when asked, give forgiveness, love and caring unconditionally, especially to those who deserve it least.

Listen to Your Body

Physical transformation is possible, if like the ancient yogis, we follow the actions of young animals. The mountain pose in the suryanamaskar is derived from the back stretch of the dog. Watch the young dog. It is always in movement and bouncing and stretching. Make physical movement a part of your daily life. As the salesmen say ‘Cover territory instead of covering your chair’. ‘Use it or lose it’ said Jane Fonda. Violent physical exercise once a week is no use, if you’re just vegetating for the rest of the week in front of the TV or computer. Listen more and bark less, use non verbal actions to show unconditional affection to family and friends.

Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. If you are lonely, communicate, ask for a hug. If you are angry, deal with your anger constructively, resolve it. The body is our vehicle for the journey of our soul in this world. You may be an immortal soul who happens to own a body, but the body-vehicle has to be maintained in good condition, so that we may achieve the goals for which we were created.